Breakfast At Tiffany's

owh, crrrrrapp!!

2012-01-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

(edisi why did i even bother?)

honestly, i dun know why i give a crap in the first place.
somehow or rather, old memories started to come back
and it was no surprise after all.

thankfully, i did stop giving a crap bout it.

cheese! macam mana aku boleh kesian and
wujud rasa sympathy bout it
gila bodoh.

hahaha.

nota kuku kaki suam: ketam masak kari jugak yg sedap.

the tahun-ly routine

2012-01-01T19:36:00.001+08:00

(same old. same young? or still same old?)

first day of new year.
so, what's new?
new car? new house? new wife? new husband? new lover/s?
so, seriously.
what's new?

okayla, i'll try to stop being the party popper or the new year's Grinch.

or whatever name that you have for me.

so IF i do have some resolution for this year

what. would. it. be.

mmm. tough one.

okay, since i just had my second baby the last 3 months

i have this ugly, stretchy-marks' guts

that hangs out from my jeans every time i put on one

so how about that?

nahhhhhh! irregardless whether i just had another baby or not

the guts been there forever

so scratch that one

why? because i have an expiration date you see

where i made a pledge on one day

and broke it the next day

and ends up putting more weight than ever

suppose-sub-ly making me more psych!

i still have a lot, and i mean a lot of physical 'make-over' that probably need resolving

but that would just make me look ever so vain

so.... let's try overhauling my inner self.

be more optimistic comes what may

be one of those person that is beautiful deep down inside

bla bla bla

and be less cynic and bitter

have a more positive, glowing with aura-in-the-face inner beauty, yes?

owh, who am i kidding.

at the end of the day,
why making resolution that you know you can't live it
or because people tell you to
or because that's what everybody do for a new year?

do i really look like the kind of person
who will suck up to other people?

.
.
.
.
.
.

let me help you with that,

NO! i am not
and if you know me
i don't do that-whole-new-year resolution crap
i can make one on a quarterly basis
i can make one on a monthly basis
i can make one on a weekly basis
and i surely DO make one on a daily basis
it just that i don't call it 'resolution'

i just call it 'to-do-list'
happy?
now get off my back and stop asking me the same question every year.

ok, fine!
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

nota kuku kaki suam: yup, still the same old cynic.

it's that time of the semester again

2011-12-20T11:52:00.000+08:00

(edisi tepu assignments)

dah tau banyak assignments nak kena submit

ada masa la plak ya menconteng kat blog bersawang nih?

bila dah tension, mula la semua nak masok dalam otak
especially post pregnancy weight and body shape
betapa aku ni in denial about my mentality bab benda2 nih
yeah i know
i'm so vain!

i know i'm stressing out when

i update my status at least every 15 minutes on my wall

i update my twitter timeline in the same interval

i keep on checking my twitter online every 2 minutes (even if its just about traffic updates! sheessshhh!!!)

and if suddenly out of the blue

my bersawang blog making an appearance in both my twitter and fb timeline

haih haih haih

cepat datang semangat blaja!!!

nota kuku kaki suam: let's just hope this is the last entry till i finish all my asgmts (mulut kumat kamit!)

kira-turun

2011-12-06T11:25:00.001+08:00

(edisi ngeng!)

three more weeks
to final asgmt submission
dun be fooled though by the singular use
there's plural use of it before the last asgmts
and i really mean lots

presentations
article write-ups
summarizations

u know the drill.

die.

nota kuku kaki suam: confession of a real life 'hardcore' procrastinator.

its gonna be hell

2011-12-06T02:34:00.001+08:00

(edisi tayangan ulangan)

april this year adrieana kena hantar balik kampung
sebab tak de nanny
sebab eeboo x berani hantar gi nursery
sebab eeboo nak kena concentrate study

tomorrow
nak kena hantar adrieana balik kampung lagi

sebab still tak de nanny
sebab eeboo still x berani hantar gi nursery
sebab eeboo nak kena concentrate study lagi (final sem)

but this time around, azalea pun nak kena ikut sama

selok eeboo sampai habis semester nih!!!!

its gonna be hell starting tomorrow.

nota kuku kaki suam: raya korban dah lepas, aku masih berkorban? pergh!! ayat tak hengat,

a potty success?

2011-08-02T12:56:00.001+08:00

(ambitious much)

semalam lil mermaid mimpi swimming across the atlantic kot
sampai tiga lapis bedding basah, uhuhuhu
so, lepas bukak bedding semua and she's commando for 5 minutes jap
while her eeboo finalize the removal of the beddings
menusuk bau her infamous ehem ehem... 'gas'
bila tgk dia nampak muka kemut semacam
wah! tgh menerankah mermaid aku ni?
makan banyak sangat rumpai laut ke mimpi smlam

so i rushed her to the toilet
put her on the toilet bowl alang2 dah komando
cuba aje lah potty training trus

of course i was there with her
sitting on a plastic chair (please remember my condition with the tummy -_- )
lama gak nak tunggu dia do her business

at first memang dia tak comfortable
yelah, the bowl is adult's bowl so i was holding her hand for support all the way
she dun know the word shee shee yet though she heard her eeboo uses it everytime
but she does know 'usyuk' (busyuk for "gas") and 'beyak' mean

so i kept on saying she should started her 'beyak' and 'eyak' process
and she did understand
but
she was making a lot of noises and start acting up
i massaged her rear back and her tummy because it usually works when she has some difficulty passing her stool sbb sometimes dia sembelit
and after 10 minutes she managed to make

ingatkan dah siap but when i tried to clean her up
she shrieked and started crying non-stop
tak habis lagi rupanya and its hurting her
put her back on the bowl and massaged her again and definitely
there's still more sbb she refused to let me urut her behind

oh dear,
this was first attempt gone wrong
she's having one of that once in the blue moon severe sembelit
she tried to teran again but not prevail
so after 10 minutes i took her down sebab tak nak dia dok atas tu lama sangat
showered her and decided that she make her part 2 in her diapers

urut ngan minyak mestika on her tummy, back and labu betis,
and after 10 minutes she made
huhuhuh

so, can i concluded it was a successful first attempt of potty traning?
errr... probably not kot, cause it might actually was a traumatic one

there's no way i'm gonna let her do other things than 'making'

tak psal2 develop hemerroid nanti, uff.

nak cuba lagi ke hari ni?

just have to wait and see.

nota kuku kaki suam: dah overdue thap gaban dah ni all this potty training ni as she's turning 3 in october. uhuk uhuk uhuk

an oven with two buns?

2011-07-31T06:47:00.001+08:00

(sure, whatever that makes u feels better)

the tummy is super big
now understand why I barely takes any photo this time around (eee... tak baiknya!)
people keep saying that it's two buns baking
instead of one, huhuhu
(dun exactly now how to react to that, though)

whatever it is
you need to see me live
to understand where that comes from

because literally
I'm really, really big!

dem! ngantok gilo. tido dulu, zzzzzzz....

nota kuku kaki suam : apa yg penting, she's healthy and sempurna, amin ya rabbil alamin.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

when in boredom-land

2011-07-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

(edisi membelon)

lil mermaid is bored.

bored with hi-5

bored with magic english

bored with nursery rhymes

bored with youtube kiddies channels

bored with upin and ipin

bored with toys

bored with wonderpets

... in a nutshell bored with everything LAH.

so she's been indulging herself with eating non-stop.

my god! my lil mermaid is turning into a lil cookie monster?!?

kena control asap!!!!

nota kuku kaki suam : kena carik activity baru sblm lil cookie monster jd lil dugong, huhuhu. (zalim siot eeboo dia!)

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

today is

2011-04-11T07:56:00.000+08:00

(d-day)

tension weh!!!
no matter how i avoid it, it finally has come to this.

ts gonna be a long, painful and longing period ahead.
uhuk!

nota kuku kaki suam: sacrifice.

rolling in the deep

2011-04-08T10:24:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry
i've lost it
lost it for good
what else can i say?

round two, ding! ding! ding!

2011-03-18T19:57:00.001+08:00

(edisi sakit)

sakit:

melongoi yang agak teruk compared to last one
tahap memboyot yang lebih besar for end first trimester compared to last one
dan ngilu pusat yang sudah hilang dari permukaan ~~bumi~~ perut
penat otak sbb this time around activiti mak boyot yang lebih active (celeron acting like pentium)
physically cepat letih, driving ~~miss foodie~~ ulang alik gi class and sending/fetching lil mermaid
babak2 scene kuch2 hotahei mengejar dan menjerit over hyperactive lil mermaid
and last but not least for the day, constipation yang membunuh jiwa dan raga.

oh, did i meantion the stress of non-stop assignments, presentations, projects and write ups???

other than that, i'm totally fine!

nota kuku kaki suam: the experience with adrieana's make it so relaxing. huhuhu

turns out i'm not that mentally strong

2011-02-08T07:51:00.000+08:00

(pondering and need for a change in the way the mind works)

feels so humble with the current pregnancy. bila fikir balik, banyak sebab why i felt that way and now realizing that i need to come to terms with it.

yes, finally admitting that i was denial bout lots of things this time around. and also found out that i'm only human to feel that way, that i ain't that strong both mentally and physically, and i need support. that can't handle things just by myself. and most important things of all, those that i feel can't do much good to me can actually be my saviour, my pillar of strength.

yes, i'm no super~~girl~~woman, and i'm ain't living on a one ~~man~~woman island.

alhamdulllah for the rezeki, ya Allah.

"dugaan. Allah nak duga. besar pahalanya tuh. so be very humble and patient, dear."

nota kuku kaki suam: astaghfirullahalazim.

lesen class D

2011-01-27T20:33:00.001+08:00

(dan segala lesen yang sewaktu dengannya)

if you have a car, seriously, i dun give a damn f you wanna have your lights blue, red, green, purple or what not, but you better damn sure ready for any consequences if your signal light is freaking light yellow, driving in a hot day and start giving fingers when other drivers cannot see you signalling. siap nak langgar plak tuh. hang bodoh pang ka apa?

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yang langsung tak reti bagi signal bila nak membelok ke, mencilok ke, mengguling atas jalan raya ka, do you seriously think you give out a super strong ~~telepathetic~~ telepathy telling other drivers what you wanna do? weh, kalau tak pandai sangat or tak tau stick mana yang guna untuk signal, bawak keta lembu lah.

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ujian berkomputer ke, ujian atas kertas ke, ujian air kencing ke, did you actually pass or not your L license exam? kalau tak nak bawak lahu sket, tak laju mana lah, laju yang tak melayakkan korang memandu kat litar sepang and langgar bahu ngan si hamilton, cuba belajar bawak kat lane yang sesuai ngan kelajuan korang yang laju sket daripada siput oink2. do you know you'll be the reason for unnecessary accidents?

hah, jangan nak bagi isu sabar, there's a reason for speed limits, ok, and driving like a snail doesn't justify it.

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lady drivers, oh lady drivers, makin aku tua, makin aku paham apa yang orang laki marahkan sangat. this is not about yang follow rules, that ain't nothing, girl, but sesuki hati badak bawak ~~sombrero~~ selamba masok tak bagi signals, pecut tak bertempat, takut pun tak bertempat, aigoo... carik someone yang boleh drive la. dah muak dengar even other lady drivers naik sama caci this special group of lady drivers.

nota kuku kaki suam: one of the reason why i shlouldn't be driving to class nowadays with my current condition. bikin hati panas!

chop!

2011-01-25T11:46:00.000+08:00

(alasan si pemalas)

suppose ada assignment kena hantar hari ni, kol 3. tapi aku tak start buat lagi pun. gila, gila. daring tak bertempat namanya eh ni. ada aje benda lain nak buat. siap boleh buat n3 ni lagi.

woit!!!! wake up! wake up! buat kerja!

nota kuku kaki suam: pas semangat weh, tlg la pas semangat buat homework.

2 tahun baru

2011-01-05T11:03:00.000+08:00

(and my malas makin besar times two gak!)

new semester started and i've yet to be kicked by any study mood. it's not even going into gear one nor normal gear. masok gear reverse adalah. apa lah nak jadik ni. perancangannya besar gabak, nak buat itu,, nak buat ini, nak timelined-kan ini, timelined-kan itu. habok tadak jugak. journals yang hilang plak hilang gitu ajelah case patah hati nak carik balik.

wawawawa. bagus nya time management.

class dah officially start smalam, nasib baik satu class, kalo 3 class satu hari? maunya aku mc, huahuahua. i freakin need to start on my project paper already lah. by end of the semester need to submit report progress dah kat committee and supervisor. jiwa kacau. jiwa kacau. kalau dah pemalas tuh, cam gitulah dia tak bergerak2 idup (merapek meraban apa plak nih???)

hari ni class penuh. penuh3x. hopefully dah start masok class ni, adalah banyak kaki2 menyepak terabang senses into me on how crucial this semester is.

iklan:- si lil mermaid dok goyang2 ponggong la plak atas meja ni to t-ra's yayayaya. uhuhuu.

back to your feel good merapek:-

macam mana ek nak menyepak terajang malas ni out of ma life?

sebarang idea amat dihargai.

nota kuku kaki suam: mana la menghilangnya calculator scientific aku sejak 10 tahun lepas? cam nor nak buat data nih? uff

darn it!!!!

2010-12-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

(dang! dang! dang!!!)

lost all my journals. and to make it worse
.
.
.
.
.
.

i haven't print the hard copies!!!

eff-ed!!!!!

nota kuku kaki suam: why me???????????

oy!

2010-12-22T19:01:00.000+08:00

(gila kentang cheesy wedges sungguh!)

dapat jer mood nak blogging, terbantut.
dapat jer mood, terbantut.
dah macam tinggi aku jugak ni ha asyik terbantut.

walhalmasa terlebih je cuti ni kalau nak dikira a.k.a ~~aktiviti berkebun dan memasak yg amat berjaya.~~

malam ni cuba lagi angan2 ku patah sayap tgk boleh buat n3 baru tak lepas this one.

nota kuku kaki suam: i doubt it.

this just need to be said out loud

2010-09-01T06:42:00.001+08:00

(i'm no angel)

dearest students, partners, co-members,

when you are in a group, doing work as a group, no matter how lousy of work you find the other significant partner is doing as according to 'your' ~~perfectionist~~ standards, DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT ever do the edition without informing the other partner and submitted that "your team-work" effort without the"lousy" person knowledge. and MOST IMPORTANTLY, do not EVER, EVER claimed it's your best work ever, doing charity and favor for the other lousy party by COPY PASTING everything, hoping for grade A ~~eggs~~, having doubled the report pages by having 90 percent of the content a plagiarize one, and omitting out the original lousy partner work which was done on their own and not copy pasting.

and for a master degree report for god sake!!!!

sekian. terima kasih. wassalam.

nota kuku kaki suam: don't la be like that,dragging other person with you like that. u have other person riding with you lah.

cleaning

2010-07-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

(on-going process)

dusting all the sawang and all the dust that has been accumulating on this blog.

nota kuku kaki suam: mission statement in the process.

status

2010-06-27T01:09:00.000+08:00

(mental health-wise)

nota kuku kaki suam: -----

what's in a number?

2010-06-07T01:45:00.001+08:00

(apparently, A LOT!)

another year, a year older.

well, unless your name is benjamin button, i so doubt it that it is the other way around for you.

same old, same old. the same old me, adding another number in my years of living, few more wrinkles to add around the facial area, that you would think ~~already screaming out loud~~ the level of maturity, life experiences that you might and still facing, without having told to you face ~~letter~~ ~~card~~ sms to grow up and have some maturity in your life.

yes. after all these years.

am i bitter? no, absolutely not.

annoyed, yes. bitter, no.

annoyed that of all the days, the 365 days in a year, what more special day to have such a beautifully crafted message delivered on a very day that one thought he or she will be cut some slack.

cutting some slack of maybe, just maybe, let her be a day carefree.

damn this pms. sensitif la plak tak bertempat.

why let one "well-wishes-and-statement" ruined it all for other wishes that made your day? friends, family, acquaintance, good ones are all that matters.

and with that, sincerely from the bottom of my heart, i thank you all.

nota kuku kaki suam: and at the end of the day, it always comes down to sincerity.

draught?

2010-06-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

(on everyboday?)

hehehe... as if aku ni rajin bebenor update blog skang kan? but we are sooo Not talking bout me si pemalas. my bloglist berapa kerat jer yang ngedet. so is my fb..

and then i start to remember. dulu masa aku kerja pun time2 cam gini memang semua (majority) agak kebizian.

uk a loh... time aku bosan malam ni tak der banyak sangat aku nak buat... wakakak.

bosan nih.

nota kuku kaki suam: aku plak serius tak der topik nak ngaban. apa nak jadik ni?

breather

2010-05-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

(in and out!)

nota kuku kaki suam: am killing meself... sheeshhhh!

dem! aku buat perangai lagi

2010-05-18T02:51:00.000+08:00

(cam ner nih? kunun preach psal disiplin tak hengat dunia!)

dari sejam tadi aku dok telling myself.. ok, by 2am, you need to get your sleep. pas tuh, bila dah terlajak, buat plak yang baru, by 2.10am, you MUST go to bed! no compromise.

hah! skang pukui brapa?

2.45am... and still tetiba gatai nak wat n3 ni, apa ke hal nya, bedah?

ntah! aku selagi fb page last paling last aku tutup, slagi tulah aku tetiba datang idea nak menulis. tak der isu apa ke benda pun... saja buat isi karipap blog ni.. boleh la tuh.

mmm... so, apa ke sebenarnya aku nak tulis? apa yang catched my attention resulting to this n3?

err... ada, tapi tetiba mood dah hilang, malas nak buat.

kelly ng betullah!

ni lah salah satu sebab blog ni makin bersawang. nak ber-bitching dah ada isi, tapi malas tu lagi power seyh!

hahahhaha... aku makin bengong. otak dah lembab kot sebab lama relax bersuri rumah tangga.

tido! tido!

nota kuku kaki suam: jika entry merapek meraban ni mengganggu RSS feed anda, sila abaikan aja.. if only ada HIDE function cam forum ngan FB, ek?

a very non-productive year

2010-05-18T02:37:00.000+08:00

(fb punya pasal or....)

i just realized number of entry by this time of the year jatuh tergolek merundum compared to past years. mengapakah? bukan ke bila dah tak kerja, lagi banyak masa terluang?

fesbukking punya penangankah?

nah ah!

lately asyik dok exercise tgh malam... suatu masa yang usually dedicated for blogging.

kureng menggeleber la sket peyut moncit ku itu...

nota kuku kaki suam: or could it be when you're at home, less people seen to bitch about?

half an hour later

2010-05-17T04:33:00.001+08:00

(mari belajar tgk jam)

4.30 in the morning and I still can't sleep.

why???

nota kuku kaki suam: leceh ah guna phone update blog. lagi2 kalau blog bersawang.

resign

2010-04-26T18:43:00.001+08:00

(letter format please!)

so, how do you resign from a post that is bind to you for life? too much headache. too much heartache. dah terlebih hemoglobin dah makan hati (ayam) banyak sangat.

so who's up to it?

patience is a virtue - that was easy to say, yet very challenging to uphold. haih.

nota kuku kaki suam: sighing lagi. uhuk.

jinx!

2010-04-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

(shutting the fly-trap)

have you ever have the feeling that you just can't blab (baca speaks) of things that is still not confirmed or, still under evaluation? that you just 'without evil intention' wish it out loud or say it out loud, only to find the opposite result from what you're wishing for or hoping for?

i do believe (purely coincident) that i MUST NOT and cannot ever talked about uncertain things, hopes or even innocent wishes out loud, because it will turn out bad. i will not get what i wish or getting the results that i wish for no matter how hard i work.

correction. i'm not saying i'm jinxed. just that, luck was never on my side. so, that's why i'm keeping mum of lots of things until i have the results.

can you imagine, keeping mum and can't say your hopes out loud?

nota kuku kaki suam: dugaan Allah and tak der rezeki (lagi).

results too soon?

2010-04-25T17:29:00.002+08:00

(a PG13 n3)

so, suddenly out of the blue, incik moncit noticed (baca a more dirtier word if you will) and noticed a 'stale buns'. i thought he was just teasing as he usually does.

so, just now, i break the news to him.

"well, i've been doing some routine last night while you were out."

nota kuku kaki suam: embarrassed much? or just plain vain? miahahahaha... oh, just let me devour the compliments... ngeh ngeh ngeh!

starting a very damn cold engine

2010-04-25T01:19:00.000+08:00

(soooooo overdue!)

so i've been yapping and blabbing bout getting back in shape ever since i welcomed my lil mermaid. yeah, right. sure, managed to get back the weight before preggie years, but getting back the shape? hell no!

i have done nearly everything so that i can start back exercising, even dieting and strangle my stomach and waist till death for 100 nights and days, just to comply to the confinement. hahahahaha.... janji tinggal janji. berjanji kat diri sendiri sana sini, hampehs belaka.

incik moncit never has faith in me when it comes to exercising, or, dieting or whatever, and up till last week i was pretty much in denial that i can keep to a regime. blah blah blah... to make the very long narration short, tonight i tried to proved myself wrong and start some workout.

yeah, the usual worries - abs and butt workout. man, i'm telling you, my body is freaking stiff. how do i get back my flexibility? huhuhu... need to find back my yoga disc (among all those dusted discs i'm not really sure where i stuffed them!)

i'm confident to say i didn't overworked myself but still, my body is so stiff. i am so gonna die tomorrow! and knowing my body, it will be at least 3 days break before i can resume before all the bengkak urat go away.

nota kuku kaki suam: it's gonna a week of pain!!

anticipation

2010-04-24T14:42:00.002+08:00

(berkobar-kobar, berdebar-debar)

anticipating something fun, definitely something that everybody is looking forward for. i mean, your heart and lungs just waiting to burst out for something that is all but unhappiness.

very simple logic.

but anticipating for something that requires results, which can only means two things. either it's a good or a bad news. very seldom in between, but can sometimes be a continuum. the nervousness level of waiting for the results?

it can sometimes make you pee in your pants!

the level of restlessness in it? well, you'll probably drive a mother cat to second doubt herself of who actually lose the kittens, huhuhuhuhu.

and nothing beats the hell-ness of anticipation when it took forever to get it.

nota kuku kaki suam: pissing in the pants??? better start choosing your diapers..

critical condition

2010-04-24T00:35:00.001+08:00

(sungguh parah tahap dewa)

kalau dulu pernah gak aku lama tak update blog
tapi skang yang buat kritikal, aku langsung tak jenguk blog aku nih

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

time to blog hopping.

nota kuku kaki suam: sesungguhnya, mencari mood itu susah.

deluded denial-ar

2010-04-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

(definition as per audriena-webster-offline-dictionary)

an individual who is denial

and the level of their denial is so bad (tahap dewa)

refused to accept the truth or thing as it is

and straight out just keep on lying

a deluded denial-ar with a pathological liar streak!

nota kuku kaki suam: moral of the story, accepts the truth no matter how much it hurts and dun get tangled in your lies. it's not pretty.

short fuse

2010-04-09T10:56:00.001+08:00

(wayar2 sudah putus)

lama tak blogging sebab dah tak der patience doing it

i noticed for the last few months
everything can really irritate me big time
anything, anybody
benda remeh, benda tak remeh
really, really standing on thin ice

dah malas nak tolerate banyak benda
dah pandai retaliate
and definitely dah pandai tak pedulik

rasanya level patience and tenang dah nipis gila
huh... sian la kat orang dekat ngan aku

what make it worse
that time of the month

the whole hormonal things just go hair wired, looming ever so freely!

nota kuku kaki suam: retaliating.

missing in action?

2010-03-26T16:33:00.000+08:00

(this is not a chuck norris n3)

friends has been asking me why has there been very, and i mean very few entry bout my lil mermaid. dah tak exciting lagikah? or, dah tak der benda2 yang nak diceritakan?

impossible. she's 17 months old.

of coz there's plenty to write about.

however, the problem is with the writer. moi.

lately i've been feeding myself with too much of hallmark movies that i think, make me a bit paranoid. paranoid as in (maybe) in some people definition.

internet perverts. not good people (you know where i'm getting at) and very bad people. is malaysia turning into that? well, evrything is on the net nowadays. everything bout the net. so, yes, you can say that i'm being paranoid to give out too much information on wherebouts, avtivities and things or way to pujuk my lil mermaid. yup, i'm paranoid about giving all the necessary information to people that might take advantage for it.

yeah. better safe than sorry.

so i'm really trying to minimize the n3s bout her.

nota kuku kaki suam: i still need to maintain my human contact with the real world, ho! ho! ho!

the 'campak' cook

2010-03-24T14:42:00.000+08:00

(itulah.. masa kecik tak nak belajar!)

it's a well known fact that i am not a good cook.

not even a mediocre.

well... not that bad either provided that

i have the recipe.

and when i said i have the recipe... it ~~would~~ ~~need~~ MUST be accompanied with photos of the desired recipe.

why? sebab kengkadang the recipe i intended to make isn't exactly what i had in mind.

banyak cekadak, ek? muahahahah....

lagi satu, kalau nak masak apa2

mesti diri sendirik dah pernah rasa masakan tuh..

so that i know the taste that i'm aiming for

kalau tak... nak rasa masam

tapi dapatnya masin! naya wo...

yes, it's a VERY well known FACT that i can't cook.

kengkadang tuh main campak.

hakikatnya, jadiklan masakan ntah apa2...

ni sebab banyak sangat tgk rancangan chef micheal (chef at home)

perasan dan berlagak seyh diri ini... muhahahaha

nota kuku kaki suam: nasib baik incik moncit boleh telan.. kira ok lah tuh. muahahahahah.

membuak-buak

2010-03-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

(bila tak menahan cam ginilah)

excessive mixture of emotions

can really leads to a cocktail of confusion

and an overdose of migraine

having that said

enjoy life to the fullest?

nota kuku kaki suam: aku masih mamai.

the untouchable reporters?

2010-03-19T01:32:00.000+08:00

(santapan malam ini)

"I'm gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with with him. Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand? Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no case. To speak to me like me, no, to harass a peaceful man. I pray to god if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self respect. One more thing, you have an all out prize fight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. And that's how you know who won. "

-Capone

Presidennya, Fauziah Raof berkata, wartawan hiburan tidak sepatutnya berdiam diri jika mendapati ada artis cuba memperkotak-katikkan diri serta kerjaya wartawan. Menurut beliau, artis sepatutnya berterima kasih kepada wartawan hiburan kerana tanpa mereka kerjaya seseorang artis itu pasti tidak boleh pergi jauh. "Kita sebagai penulis profesional tidak sepatutnya dilayan dengan cara yang rendah kerana tulisan kita itu adalah untuk melonjakkan nama mereka juga."

hanya gambar hiasan

(koh! koh! koh!)

nota kuku kaki suam: gilo riak and gangster statement itew...

the good wife

2010-03-19T00:33:00.000+08:00

(just because)

"When I was starting out I got one great piece of advice: Men can be lazy, women can't. And I think that goes double for you. Not only are you coming back to the workplace fairly late but you have some very prominent baggage. "

nota kuku kaki suam: ouch!

first outing

2010-03-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

(bila eeboo dia jenis yang tak adventurous)

yup. my first real, impromptu outing with my precious lil mermaid. bbq-ing at bukit keluang, terengganu. dah lama dah ni. masa balik kb bulan january hari tuh. balik for 5 days. dengan spontan and keep original to the meaning of 'impromtu', aku ajak parents aku nagna dik2 aku yang ada kat umah time tu ber-bbq kat bukit kluang. why bukit kluang? sebab family abang aku ada kat besut, so boleh just crash kat situ.

another reason?

bukit kluang held special memories to our family. masa aku kecik dulu, kecik sangat2, our family would come here and picnic. family makcik aku pun join skali. and ada satu gambar aku dan mak bonda aku. aku kecik time tu. and disebabkan aku masa kecik agak porno semasa mengambil gambar (a.k.a. tak cukup kain) maka jangan haraplah aku nak menempel gambar itu di sini atau di mana2 saja aku berada, hahahaha.

precious moment would be to capture the similar memory with my daughter. cuma, gambar ni bleh dibuat tatapan umum sebab adrieana proper gila pakai... hehehe.

the only thing yang tak best? incik moncit tak der masa ni. aku balik kb ngan adrieana jer sebab dia busy. tak besh. sungguh tak besh. but, he wanted me to have fun, and it was fun. tak de mandi mandanya, aku kan phobia mandi2 tempat macam nih, so sorry la adrieana, there's no way you'll be soaking and swimming in beaches, pool or yang sewaktu dengannya. mandi tub kat umah siti okay, sebab eeboo rasa eeboo tak kan lemas. hahaha. well, better than nothing, kan sayang?

cantik bukit kluang skang. bila la nak bleh bercuti santai tiga beranak sekali? huhuh...

nota kuku kaki suam: perlu di impromtu kan lagi aktiviti sebegini. need to put my thinking cap back on.

war on reporters

2010-03-17T23:26:00.003+08:00

(bila majority versus the "powerful" minority?)

pergh!!! powerful gila fb ni ek? boleh kasik gegar dunia orang. techonology. technology. tolong marketkan business pun ada. naikkan sorang pun ada. malukan dan aibkan orang pun ada.

well, another day another story of fb.

latest yang aku baca (well, latest aku kengkadang dah berbulan, depends on my mood bila nak surf news) is the war against the entertainment reporters.

MALAYSIA entertainment reporter to be exact. All Entertainment Reporters In Malaysia Sucks. catchy, huh?

artis malaysia rasanya cukup takut ngan depa nih.

and i guess readers and viewers punya sabar dah sampai tahap maksimum kot bila dok nengok keletah depa buat kerja.

hahaha. apa2lah labu.

bertemu buku ngan ruas

aku dah stop baca, tengok this so called entertainment news lama gila dah. buat dosa diri sendirik adalah mencarut kat depa. and i do admit, they really are, well, vicious ~~people~~ ~~writer~~ ~~gossipers~~ ~~losers~~ ~~hypocrites~~ reporters?

not all, but not that few either. i think not more than the number of fingers in one hand (and yes, i have only 5 fingers in each hand) yang ada ethic when it comes to bashing people life.

and if you know me as i thought you know me, i'm not really into malaysian artists. bukan berlagak. bukan macam bagus. just because. and i'm not that into either when it comes to the malaysia entertainment industry. say what you might, but aku boleh telan gossip2 bashing the hollywood artists. ala... bukan perasan orang puteh la. mungkin ada sedikit hypocrisy kat statement tuh, but tak tau psal apa kalu boleh tolerate orang2 bukan islam bashing orang bukan islam compared to org2 muslim kat sini bashing another muslims. at the end of the day, aku rasa aku tak leh menahan tgk bahasa dan keletah dorang, kot?

anywhoo...

apa rasa bila public yang selama ni enjoy/gumbira/ketagih baca berita2 sensasi berpaling tadah serang kita balik? the same thing yang kita dok buat kat orang lain? segala gambar, aktiviti kita plak dikorek dijaj, DITERJAH tempek dalam internet? rasa oren kah?

how bout that? when your life is put under the microscope for once? buat laporan polis? buatlah apa yang mampu. kita tgk setakat mana kita boleh tutup mulut orang. i mean, freedom of speech yang dulu reporters especially sangat agungkan dan guna sebagai defense mechanism, so what's wrong when other people does the same? they don't have the same freedom of speech kah?

defamation? now look who's talking. koh koh koh.

hehehe... agak2nya ramai sangat nak jadik macam mario kot? who's mario? yelah, nama tak glemer tak der orang kenal kan? what about perez hilton? ring a bell?

from somebody yang filed for bankruptcy (or issit nearly bankrupt) to one of the internet media mogul. kayo weh dia skang. endorsement sana sini. ni azwan ali pun bercita2 bak jadi kot? so, are we aiming for that kind of blunt, bold and super spicy columns?

terjah = western papparazi?

think again. setakat ni lah yang aku dok melayan e! and yang sekutu dengannya, dorang tak der la macam terjah tu kot? ajak rang duduk, bercakap kasar demand explaination, memaki hamun bila kaum sendiri kena sound. or maybe aku tak tengok enough gossip craps like tmz. but, whatever.

cause and effect, beb. as simple as caused and effect. berani buat. berani tanggung. once you go overboard, mula la ramai nak jadi judges and paps tak bertauliah.

and you know when there's platform to orang lepas geram, it's gonna be bad. really bad. aku yang sekadar tumpang baca pages2 macam ni pun naik seriau. tak caya? cuba baca posting2 kat sana if you have a lot of spare time like me. koh koh koh!

Just found this - Persatuan Wartawan dan Penulis Hiburan Malaysia (Wham) <--- WHAM!? george micheal wham? koh koh koh.

nota kuku kaki suam: banyak sangat rancangan menghentam, menceroboh privasi orang skang ni... bila la depa nak haramkan rancangan2 tak der faedah ni macam kat indonesia?

sacrifices vs selfishness

2010-03-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

(contemplating part 2 - dah macam drma kbs plak dah... ada part-part))

lagi n3 emo. memang semenjak dua menjak pat menjak ni, aku tak keruan sket. agak2 dh brapa helai uban tumbuh kat kepala aku ni (hari tu masa incik moncit cantas rambut aku jumpa 2 helai... tidak!!!).

dugaan hidup ni banyak, kan? semua orang ada masalah sendiri. semua rasa masalah dia lah yang paling berat. walhal kat luar sana lagi banyak masalah orang lain tanggung yang lagi hebat. tapi, manusia. rambut sama hitam, tapi hati lain2. acceptance lain2. walaupun rambut color blonde sama2... highlight berbeza, kan? (apa aku merapek nih?)

kengkadang masalah kita boleh buat orang pandang rendah kat kita, and maybe, just maybe they have the right to do so. and one can't really judge other's for their way of thinking. one may see other people malas etc, tak pandai managed, and seems as if they are not doing anything to change their life, but again, do they have any idea what that poor invidual have been through, done to make it better but luck has never give them any mercy? mungkin Allah nak duga dan duga dorang? just because one didn't open their mouth and menagih simpati, citer satu2 benda yang dorang dah buat tapi tak jadi, it's palin right to make them a living target of criticism an judgement.

is it?

contemplating again.

should one leap to make the sacrifices again and over again? yeah, probably not as noble as joan of arc, but, sampai bila nak kena sacrifice own need.

there you go. own need.

that's already bluntly screams SELFISH!!!

is it?

argh!!! why oh why oh why.

nota kuku kaki suam: ya Allah. tunjuk jalan.

hujan!

2010-03-12T23:49:00.000+08:00

(alhamdulillah)

sejak balik 'melawat' kb since cny hari tuh, kota bharu memang panas. panas panas panas. panas sangat2. memang, neraka lagi panas... tak dapat bayangkan akhirat nanti.

as i was saying, kelantan memang panas. tido malam aircond memanjang. tu pun still terasa bahang dari siang hari. adrieana kengkadang melenggeng bila terkena hari yang tak de angin langsung. mula la kena heaty rash. huhu.

tapi pagu ni, as disampaikan khabar, tok guru ajak rakyat kelantan sembahyang hajat memohon diturunkan hujan. kesian petani2 yang kena panas. tanaman banyak tak jadi. kering! bak kata tok guru, mungkin balasan sebab banyak sangat dosa2 bunuh bayi2, anak2 skang ni among others.

heard from my mom and dad, ramai gak yang puasa hari ni. and kuasa Allah yang Maha Pemurah, Pemberi rezeki, berkat doa hajat memohon rezeki rakyat kelantan menjadi. most humbling for me, when jemaah semua tengah sujud, hujan mula turun. hinggakan imam (tok guru) mennagis teresak-esak, humbled with His Mercy. Subhanallah. Maha suci Allah.

and up till now, as i was doing this n3 which is 23.45 hrs, hujan masih turun. bukan rintik2. bukan lebat macam nak banjir. hujan lebat pemberi rezeki. and it comes in waves. tak lebih 15 minit satu wave. subhanallah.

nota kuku kaki suam: suara2 sumbang yang cakap hujan sebab kebetulan dan sebab jabatan kaji cuaca dah predict, lantaklah. are they questioning Allah Act and Merciness upon doa hamba2Nya? wallahualam.

bila tak nampak

2010-03-11T02:27:00.000+08:00

(berjaga + bergelap)

nak buat n3 pun x leh.
study lamp blow.
tak nampak apa2.
besok ya.

nota kuku kaki suam: guna flashlight phone nengok keyboard. semua dah tido... malas nak bukak lampu bilik... kui kui kui

they were doing the...

2010-03-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

(reality bites)

show on.....

biggest loser?

biggest anorexic?

game rulez!

nota kuku kaki suam: money rules.

.?.

2010-03-09T13:42:00.003+08:00

(depression and desperation)

You know those days when you get the mean reds?

The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Sure.

noat kuku kaki suam: losing hope, losing faith.

masa itu... tadak

2010-03-08T20:22:00.000+08:00

(bullet train pun agaknya dah evolusi nunggu aku sampai)

wargh!!!! banyaknya blogroll updates...
berkurun lamanya

nota kuku kaki suam: usaha tangga kejayaan. chaiyok!

warming up

2010-03-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

(percubaan)

testing 1, 2, 3.

percubaan satu dua tiga.

nota kuku kaki suam: musti usaha jugak!

vampire nurse?

2010-02-26T01:24:00.001+08:00

(bila nursing tgh malam)

as per previous entry, adrieana susah sangat nak makan or even lagi liat minum ubat. pergi klinik kelmarin, doktor prescribed ubat demam selsema, antibiotik and ubat kahak, which the only ubat yang even eeboo dia boleh telan is the antibiotic, which is sweet.

so, after surfing the net, aku cuba lagi malam ni dilute ubat kahak and demam selsema tu ngan susu. alhamdulillah. dia mampu telan sikit. instead of putting in all the 5ml of the meds, aku buat dua round for each. ubat lain ok. alhamdulillah. just ubat kahak tu dia masih struggle nak minum. still boleh rasa the bitterness. so, just 2.5ml in at the moment, another half to go. haish. ubat yang manis tu 2 kali sehari je la plak. tang another two, 3 times a ~~week~~ day kena banyak sabar dan kuat mental, sebab aku ni jenis tak tahan tgk aku nangis. aku pun nak berbanjir sama.

at least, antibiotic she managed to telan for the time being. sebab antibiotic kena habiskan, kan?

eeboo, fighting!!

nota kuku kaki suam: malam dia akan start batok and selsema, so selalu terjaga malam menangis nangis. tak selesa hidung dan badan. tulah sebab aku berembun je skang. kena selalu peluk dia bila dia terjaga.

terjeluak tanda protes kah?

2010-02-25T02:40:00.000+08:00

(risau risau risau)

hari tuh adrieana demam agak panas satu malam. but kami doktor ~~terlatih~~ kat rumah ni, membuat andaian bahawa dia demam sebab gigi2 yang nak tumbuh tuh. and when she's back to her bubbly, beleber (blabber dlm bahaso kelate. okek?) self the next morning, kitaorang mengejutkan diri sendiri ngan skill genius seorang doktor ~~dari harvard~~. but, bila malam tuh dia demam balik and her temperature was higher than the night before, aku dah cuak.

kenapa aku cuak? sebab aku rasa aku mungkin penyebab kenpa anak aku demam balik, and makin panas.

hypothesis pertama - aku suap dia makan nasi berkuah sotong rebus (which is mine and her favorite) and sedikit (teramat sedikit) buah tembikai. mak bonda cakap, mungkin perut dia tak tahan... owh.. betapa cuainya eeboo!

hypothesis kedua - 2nd time aku bagi dia minum smoothies heinz tuh. mak bonda cakap maybe perut dia tak suka benda alah tuh. huhuhu... tapi aku rasa sebab paling utama ialah, aku lupa nak de-froze heinz tu, and sebab terlampau excited tgk dia suka makan benda alah tu the day before (she was constipating for 2 days and berjaya poopy dengan jayanya lepas minum benda alah tuh) aku lupa pasal temperature heinz tuh.

so to make the case short, aku dah bagi lil mermaid aku tu makan smoothies sejok!!! what was i thinking!!! marah gila aku ngan diri sendirik. sampai lani. she's coughing now and i'm the reason she's like that. i'm the worse mom ever.

pergi klinik tadi, doktor bagi 3 ubat. and semua ubat gila pahit (yes, i taste my doter neds just to now how it taste). gila bitter especially ubat kahak tuh. bila cuba suapkan kat adrieana, hampir terjeluak dia. can't blame her. after all the attemps, she only managed to swallow half of the sukatan ubat.

wa. wa. wa. sedih dan marahnya aku ngan diri sendirik. cam ner aku buleh cuai ni?

ya allah. sembuhkanlah batok dan selsema anak ku. dan jadikan aku ni more alert and sensitive. amin. amin. amin ya robbil alamin.

nota kuku kaki suam: still tak leh tido mengenangkan my foolishness.

the excruciating 6

2010-02-25T02:25:00.000+08:00

(yang tua ni pun tak tahan sakit)

apakan lagi yang kecik, baby plak tuh.

this week, i noticed that my lil mermaid has been extra-merengek-ing ngan eeboo dia dengan kadar yang luar biasa. tak nak langsung ngan ayah2 dia, kecuali yang selalu menyogok dia ngan tarian korea dag ala2 gelek inul (pergh! koreans dah pamdai gelek skang no!).

sampaikan aku nak masok bilik air pun kena cargas dan pantas. dia merengek nak masok gak, haish! apa la adeque nih. huhuhu.

mula2 ingatkan dia tension sebab tinggal dia ngan eeboo jer kat umah grandparents dia ni. yelah, hari tu penuh rumah ngan cousins and aunties and uncles. tetiba senyap gila. asyik2 menatap muka eeboo dia yang ~~kerepot~~ cun ni 24/7. cam tak der muka ~~supermodel~~ orang lain. jemu la tuh.

tapi bila dah masok hari ketiga pun makin teruk merengek, aku dah naik heran. memanglah ayah dia tak der. tapi bukan tak biasa tak nampak incik moncit. mengapakah?

pas tuh dia start demam.

then i found out on the day masa buat routine biasa setiap hari iaitu menggosok gigi ~~anak rimau~~ adrieana. rupa2nya, kat gusi bawah ada 4 gigi nak tumbuh, 2 adalah gigi geraham, and two on the upper gum. patutlah... sian anak aku.

nota kuku kaki suam: eeboo dia pun kengkadang still sakit wisdom tooth tak abis kuar lagi weh!

finally

2010-02-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

(it's 2.30 in the morning)

nota kuku kaki suam: good night, world. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

gatal yang tak kena ngan tempat

2010-02-20T01:37:00.000+08:00

(fokus yang hilang)

dem! dah sejam aku still tak leh nak start buat assignment. isi dah ada. body dah ada. everything in place dah dalam kepala hotak, tapi nak put it in black and white tuh, malas gila. bukak jer window mic word, trus bosan. bukak aje lagi, trus surfing benda ntah apa2.. sejam wasted just like that. wawawawa... mata dah berat and pedih dah ni.

sambil2 tuh, dok berkira-kira macam mana aku nak tido malam nih sorang2. tak pernah lagi stakat ni aku berpisah katil ngan lil mermaid nih. paling jauh pun, dia tido dalam crib, sebelah katil aku. ni, totally different bilik. acam kucing hilang anak (aku keturunan kucing kot, tu yang aku tau prasaan ibu kucing).

focus, focus, focus. get started. pas tuh tido!

okay, sound easy enuf. let's go!

nota kuku kaki suam: beratnya mata kew!!

di waktu ini

2010-02-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

(i want the whole world to know)

my lil mermaid dah tido ngan granparents dia malam ni

satu rumah dah terbongkang tido

as for me

mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengedet blog yang dah bersawang

bersawang sebab berkuih bulan dan ber-tart nenas

dan jugak

sebab aku kena siapkan assignment

huhuhu... last minute baru nak buat

i guess ideas only come to me

when i'm under pressure

semua documents dah siap terbukak dari tadi

file2 softcopy dah siap jugak mendedahkan diri dari tadi

cuma aku jugak yang tak rajin2 nak start buat

apa2 pun

berkebun dan memasak dulu

so that i get all those things out of the way

and aku boleh start buat assignment ini dengan jayanya

it's already half past midnight

bila nak start nih?

nota kuku kaki suam: terlebih rajin atau, memang aku ni senang kena pijak kepala ngan adik manja aku yang sorang ni selalu buatkan assignment untuk dia? uff!

the 'venus versus mars' history channel

2010-02-11T00:38:00.003+08:00

(the battle bc - emotions)

nota kuku kaki suam: so the conclusion - women just act the way they act because you men asked for it. duh! so dun play a game you can't handle, mister!

humming

2010-02-10T00:40:00.002+08:00

(~~bird~~)

Even if you were a million miles away

I could still feel you in my bed

Near me, touch me, feel me

And even at the bottom of the sea

I could still hear inside my head

Tellin' me, touch me, feel me

And all the time you were tellin' me lies

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?

Well, you could try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown

You made my body feel heaven bound

Why don't you hold me

Near me, I thought you told me

You'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face

And I know right where I fit in

Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love

With you

Right til the end OOh

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start

It's about to fall apart

So rather than hold on to a broken dream

Or just hold on to love

And I could find a way to make it

Don't hold on too tight

I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

nota kuku kaki suam: lagi la tak dapat tido melayan lagu ni lagi dan lagi dan lagi...

dear deri

2010-02-07T23:58:00.003+08:00

(those were the days)

her diary

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts where somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

his diary

Today the Leafs lost. At least I got laid.

i'm not sure whether it still relevant, because in my life, it just went dead during my teen year (and we all know that was a very, very, very long time ago!)

dulu masa kecik2, sapa yang tak pernah ada deri? aku rasa ~~semua orang~~ budak perempuan especially mesti at least ada deri buatan sendiri. buatan sendirik nih selalunya buka log la kan? boleh tahan tebalnya. cita2 nak menulis panjang. the event of daily life gitu. sampai ada gak yang make a schedule kol brapa tiap2 hari nak kena buat entry dalam deri.

journal a.k.a deri budak laki

pengalaman zaman budak dulu, bila pergi ke stationary shop ke, gift shop ke, mesti nak jugak tengok buku2 cantik ke, deri lain dari yang lain, and most important element, yang ada pad lock. pergh!!! rahsia hati ko tau tak. mana boleh sesapa baca. tempat luahan jiwa raga mak, tau!

pergh! kalo aku umur 8 tahun nih, konpem aku sauk deri ni.. comel,

and paling penting ada padlock. my secret is safe! (NOT!)

ni bukan citer pasal buku diary tahunan kerja tu, weh. apa hal. mana best. tak der panas (well, except when the time you bring your diary into a meeting and start doodling away and sketching muka colleagues or boss - and not in a good way). so peeps. if you have this so-called office diary with contents yang bakal menggegar opis, guard it with your life! miahahah.

tapi zaman IT skang, ~~semua~~ ramai orang ada online deri lagi ko. dasat2. some jenis yang identity remain anon, or, "ok, profile aku semua ada nama aku berbagai, but you dun know me and i dun know you, it's so okay for you to read me deri." hahaha. ada gak yang buat private so that some people jer yang buleh baca. oho.... macam2 ado.

but, bukan ke tujuan deri ni antara kita ngan deri kita jer? dengan erti kata lain, aku yang menulis dan aku jugak (sajalah) yang sama membaca? cause, that's the reason i stopped writing a deri sebab mak bonda aku baca deri aku. trus forfeited relevancy deri aku itu.

but, jangan la plak salah sangka, sesapa yang nak berderi ke, apa ke, please do. it helps ppl to relieves some stress tau. vent it out. steam it off. walaupun tak ~~ada~~ tau sapa yang baca deri kita tuh, at least kita luahkan, dok? jangan sampai jadik introvert ~~macam aku~~, bahaya tau pendam lama2.. buleh gilo wo nak maintain tak burst. once burst, jadiklah macam coca cola tersembur dari tin lepas digoncang2 (pergh!! agak tersirat, korang 'surat' kan lah sendirik ayat nih).

believes me, some people just love to read real life ~~pathetic~~ ~~emo~~ drama. ehehehe,

nota kuku kaki suam: dear deri, hr ni aku baca banyak deri kat status fesbuk aku.

selfish - attention seeker

2010-02-07T20:42:00.005+08:00

(who in their life never did at least once, show off hand, please!)

i, we, they come in many forms. action, writing, thinking, expressions and what not. people just act, do the things they do, knowing clearly the affect of it. but, they just bring it anyway.

apa jugak la yang aku merepek nih?

the new decade snow queen? cam no lah agaknya

orang yang dok blakang dia nak tgk performance

grammy tu ek?

recipe of the day - wear really short short, reveal 3/4 of your melons

and finally, a touch of fresh flower to make it all so ever cute. oh, and yes,

a sign of your intention. that will definitely get the attention of the paps

to leave you alone, aha.

nota kuku kaki suam: jual ikan ni tak elok ek?

just plain naive or plain stupid?

2010-02-06T22:07:00.002+08:00

(ngeeee....)

Ini adalah sebuah kisah benar mengenai Microsoft Word Helpline (bantuan berkenaan Microsoft Word melalui telefon). Seorang pekerja di helpline ini telah diberhentikan. Walaubagaimanapun, pekerja ini telah menyaman Microsoft atas dakwaan “Memecat tanpa Sebab”. Inilah perbualan telefon pekerja berkenaan yang menyebabkan beliau dipecat:

Microsoft: Ridge Hall computer assistance; boleh saya bantu anda?

User: Ya, err, Saya ada masalah dengan Microsoft Word.

Microsoft: Masalah bagaimana tu encik?

User: Saya sedang menaip, tiba-tiba semua perkataan tersebut hilang.”

Microsoft: Hilang?

User: Ya, ia hilang.

Microsoft: Hmm. Macam mana monitor anda kelihatan sekarang?

User: Kosong, tak ada apa-apa.

Microsoft: Tak ada apa-apa?

User: Blank, ia tak respon apa-apa bila saya menaip.

Microsoft: Adakah anda masih didalam Microsoft Word, atau anda telah keluar?

User: Macam mana saya nak tau?”

Microsoft: Bolehkah anda nampak C: prompt pada skrin anda?

User: Apa tu si-perom?

Microsoft: Tak apalah, boleh tak anda gerak-gerakkan mouse anda di skrin?

User: Cursor pun tak ada: kan saya dah kata ianya tak memberi sebarang respon bila saya taip.

Microsoft: Adakah monitor anda ada power indicator?

User: Monitor tu apa?

Microsoft: Ianya adalah sebuah alat yang ada skrin padanya dan ianya berbentuk seperti TV. Adakah ianya mempunyai lampu kecil yang menyala bila monitor anda dihidupkan?

User: Saya tak tahu.

Microsoft: OK, kalau begitu cuba lihat di belakang monitor anda dan cuba cari socket dimana wayar power anda di pasangkan. Boleh nampak tak?

User: Rasa-rasanya.

Microsoft: Bagus. Ikut wayar tersebut hingga ke plug, dan adakah ianya dipasangkan pada soket elektrik di dinding anda.

User: Yaa, terpasang.

Microsoft: Masa anda lihat di belakang monitor tadi, perasankah anda ada dua wayar terpasang di belakang monitor anda, bukannya satu?

User: Iya ke?.

Microsoft: Sebenarnya ada dua. Sekarang saya nak anda pergi balik ke belakang monitor anda dan cari satu lagi wayar tersebut.

User: Okay, jumpa dah.

Microsoft: Cuba ikut wayar tersebut dan beritahu saya samada ianya terpasang dengan ketat di belakang computer anda.

User: Alamak tak sampai laa.

Microsoft: Ok… boleh cuba jenguk-jenguk samada ianya terpasang atau tidak?

User: Tak boleh.

Microsoft: Tak boleh juga ke jika anda cuba panjat apa-apa seperti kerusi dan tengok kat belakang tu?

User: Oh, saya tak nampak bukannya sebab angle tak betul, tapi pasal gelap.

Microsoft: Gelap?

User: Ya. Lampu pejabat ni terpadam dan satu-satunya sumber cahaya yang saya ada adalah dari cahaya tingkap.

Microsoft: OK, kalau macam tu hidupkanlah lampu pejabat anda.

User: Tak boleh.

Microsoft: Tak boleh? Kenapa?

User: Sebab kat pejabat saya “blackout”, tak ada elektrik.

Microsoft: Blackout… tak ada elektrik? Aha, Okay, kita dah dapat penyelesaiannya sekarang. Anda masih mempunyai kotak, manual dan barang-barang pembungkusan semasa komputer ini dihantar?

User: Ada… saya simpan kat dalam almari.

Microsoft: Bagus. pergi ambil barang-barang tersebut dan unplug komputer anda. Kemudian bungkuskan sepertimana masa ianya baru-baru sampai dulu. Hantar balik ke kedai dimana anda beli dulu.

User: Ehh? Ye ke? Macam tu sekali punya teruk ke?

Microsoft: Iya, rasa-rasanya macam itulah.

User: Err… okey lah. Nampaknya saya kena buat macam tu lah. Tapi nak cakap apa dengan pekedai tu?

Microsoft: Beritahu mereka anda terlalu BANGANG untuk memiliki sebuah komputer.

nota kuku kaki suam: tgh menggatal survey latop. saje suka suki.

Lynette Lincoln and Joanna Ann - the aftermath

2010-02-05T10:11:00.001+08:00

(just to update on current issue)

sila rujuk blog incik mazidul.

nota kuku kaki suam: mmm... the two group standing, if only you pun tak ikut prasaan posting kat wall tu. haih.

Lynette Lincoln and Joanna Ann

2010-02-05T00:50:00.001+08:00

(tu dia... lagi penangan facebook)

aku prasan pasal ni dua hari dulu kot.. two of my friends were tagged with the "photo statement". ntah pasal la aku buleh lupa psal ni, until incik moncit asked me about it again this evening.

so, just now, aku pergilah to the group, Kami Mencari Joanne Ann dan Lynette Lincoln..!! berbanding dengan the other two groups which also created because of this twolovely-slightly-immatured-lil-girls-acting-all-grown-up-bout-all-the-current-issue-which-they-should-be-playing-doll-house-with-their-barbies, the former WAS a bit soft in their group-info, stating that they just hope that these 'babies' will apologize to the malaysian muslims. i guess that's why they have more fans compared to the latter.

i was going over the group for 5 minutes, inviting my friends when suddenly, i was logged out and as i attempted a re-login, the group has ceased to exist! wow! that fast, huh? the other two groups are still there as i was writing this n3, but i guess, they too will ceased to exist.

well, i can try to be logical and rational bout it. kdn-kind of issue? maybe. safety issue? maybe. insensitive issue (on whose regard?)? maybe.

what ever it is, kindda disappointed with the whole things. do i think it was blown out of proportion? no, i don't. with whom? practically everybody. and a bit of disgust.

bila orang bukak HATE page psal fasha sandha, my god, 40k fans racing thru nak join jadi fans, and over what cause? sebab tak suka personality minah tu yang tak kacau hidop korang? and when this issue rose, where are these people???

okay. i'm running off cause now. let me senangkan citer.

no, those two whining-babies should have study more rather than spending their time facebooking, checking on people status and trying to have 10,000 people (if they have that many friends, which i doubt it) comments on her status and break records (what record?)

the people who joined the group shouldn't have to stoop as low as these two yentas by cursing and all. debate with intelligent. why turn into them? you need to realize when you join this group and as a muslim, you represent the image. so, think people, think!

mmm... cuba la check this link, kot you still have the luck.

Kami mencari Joanne Ann & Lynette Lincoln..!!

Lynette Lincoln and Joanna Ann should be banned from Facebook

Lynette Lincoln and Joanna Ann, should apologize to all MUSLIMS

Kena Ban Lagi FB

(wanted) dua musang menghina nabi muhammad

kat group Kami Mencari Joanne Ann dan Lynette Lincoln..!! ada sorang lagi, a non-muslim guy yang gila2 cursed islam. tak sempat nak print screen, chess!

i really hope this thing can be solved immediately and secara bijak. oh, no! i insist that IT MUST BE SOLVE. hopefully tak der double standard or buat pejam mata. kita ni banyak bangsa kat sini, various religious beliefs. so, kena bijak and adil.

nota kuku kaki suam: last i heard, the femes duo have deleted their accounts, JAIS has been informed and looking into the matter, and police report has been logged. betol ke tak, wallahualam.

demam kah?

2010-02-05T00:48:00.002+08:00

(datang bulan kah?)

perut sakit.

hidung dah start berair.

lelangit pedih gila and very uncomfortable.

mata ni dah phase sakit benda lain nih.

ottoke? ottokaji?

nota kuku kaki suam: aku rasa sebab aku ngadap laptop lama sangat nih. i concur!

minah bunge

2010-02-04T00:19:00.003+08:00

(cheeky lil mermaid)

lama tak update pasal my precious one. hopefully dapat buat gue lupa sebak di dada...uhuk. i'm just gonna do a quick one (yeah right!) and try to sum it all up in one n3 (doubt it).

terlampau banyak progress dah baby aku sorang nih. and one thing, as i hugged her while napping this afternoon, i can't help but realize how big she's getting (or just probably me, maintaining my ~~pendek~~ petite body. seriously, she's half my height.

okay, okay, try cutting in short since ~~my eyes is still very pedih with emotional distress i'm having now~~ dah gila tengah malam, and my lil mermaid yang thankfully tido awal mestilah diangkat dan diletakkan dalam crib kat atas (i need to be near her in a one meter radius or she'll wakes up)....

moving on...

since getting six tooth (and that was 6 months ago!), she finally got a new one on her lower gum (oye! putus lah jari aku kali nih nak gosok gigi dia)

i wrote about she's starting to walk a few months ago kan? well, balik kb last week, she just start walking non-stop, nearly berlari and never look back to crawling again. oye! nak tercabot kepala lutut aku mengejar. nak berjalan dan berlari aje. huhuhu.

start humming her favorite korean song... aigoo... anak orang korea sunggoh (eh, eh, mak dia plak yang prasan)

dah mula wording words, especially simple and catchy words form upin and ipin yang eeboo dia saved dalam mobile (my god! eeboo dia dah hafal semua dialogue upin ipin from ep 3 sampai ep 8. mana taknya, satu hari at least 3 kali and 3 round setiap kali. betol! betol! betol!)

walaupun still berperang nak gosok gigi, tap at least dia bagi. cuma tak leh linger lama sangat, nanti dia marah, main gigit jer tanpa hesitasi, and in order to create habit gosok gigi, lepas aku gosok gigi dia ngan ubat gigi yang letak ubat gigi sket, kena bagi dia plak berus gigi sendiri. kena gak letak ubat gigi kat situ, nanti membebel, marah.

tahap membebel yang makin improve saban hari, mengalahkan eeboo dia. mungkin sbb aku suka membebel ngan dia? uhuhuuhuhu...

suka main mata ngan 'pretty ppl'. what do i mean? well, literally main mata. kalau mamat2 hensem ke, minah2 lawa ke, dia main mata ngan depa. kalau depa balas balik, mula la dia sorok muka kat dada aku ke (depending sapa yang dokong dia time tuh) ngan tersenyum senyum sipu. haih. padan muka eeboo. baca lagi cter 'dik cergas' and melayan bab himawari. kan dah mendapat. huhuhu.

mmm... banyak la lagi tapi mata aku dah tahap gaban pedih. need to retreat for the day. nanti aku akan menghabiskan masa lagi (yg teramat banyak terluang nih) dengan merapek meraban.

nota kuku kaki suam: her favorite sentence? 'apa tu?'. ngee....

mata pedih weh

2010-02-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

(since afternoon)

pedih mata.

asyik berair dari tadi.

sedih ke?

agaknya.

haih. i guess that's why i hate taking calls.

nota kuku kaki suam: ya allah, kuatkan hati.

patience is a virtue

2010-02-03T16:36:00.001+08:00

(chant it like there's no end)

when life looks bleak

when people look at you sceptically

all you can do is be brave

smell it

breath it

embrace it

live it

and keep the faith that you'll be strong

nota kuku kaki suam: astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.

hangat di pasaran

2010-02-02T23:06:00.005+08:00

(all the vices of facebook-ing)

the old news? everybody's (well, a bit of exaggeration, but you get i mean, kan?) into it.

feverish thing like that, famous and 'the in thing', well, you'll have people and scholars, all the bijak pandai starting to analyze, researching the pro and cons. haih... it bound to happen. and the latest 'survey' on the net?

an artice from CNN. wah... abis besar la citer psal facebook nih bila CNN pun buat research, dok? mesti ramai gila2 lah yang guna facebook ni, kan? kui kui kui.

okay, for a more detail reading, please go here lah, kalo nak. ngee.

as for me, aku rasa (and so hoping) aku tak tahap kronik tuh. mungkin ada buat sikit2 tapi rasanya (hoping) that it doesn't irritate much.

but some of my friends (and other facebookers) just dun give a damn. hak dorang kan? so, paling senang, kalau ada kenkawan cam gitu, well, hide kan aje notification depa (kalau taku kawan tuh kecik atie kita remove dia from friendlist).

ahaks! bukan depa tau pun. hati pun tak sakit. i think that's better than kalau kita tension ngan all those things, kita plak update status ngan memaki hamun depa2 yang irritated kita tahap gaban. so, wouldn't that make you fall under number 9 (the crank?). think bout it.

ngeee.

nota kuku kaki suam: jangan terlampau ambik hati ngan status ~~aku~~,~~kami~~ orang. pas tuh nak lash publicly how you HATE it. it makes you not cool, man. hide-kan aje. idop pun aman. biarkanlah ~~aku~~, ~~kami~~ mereka dan keluarga ~~aku~~, ~~kami~~ mereka. ehehehe.

an evening of cam-whoring

2010-02-02T17:23:00.003+08:00

(bila eeboo dan ayah mengigau di siang hari)

semalam, ketika seluruh penduduk KL, putrajaya dan labuan bercuti dan berronggeng (ayat skema upsr nih), incik moncit tetiba datang angin ~~kentut urat saraf~~ nak bawak adrieana pegi jalan2 kat lake yang ~~lapok dijanji sejak 1998 nak bukak by the pemaju~~ baru bukak kat area rumah kitaorang. dekat jer ngan rumah, tapi punya lah tak de nafsu nak pergi, akhirnya semalam dalam sejarah menjejak kaki jugaklah dia kat sana.

cantik, ada potensi, masih boleh di improve. yang need a lot of improvement, civic minded orang malaysia yang MASIH PENGOTOR. sesuki hati jer buang sampah merata-rata. susah sangat ke nak buang sampah dalam tong sampah? kalau ya pun tong sampah dah penuh, pandai bawak, pandailah bawak balik. apa susah sangat ke bungkus balik dalam plastik pas tuh buang kat rumah? oh... tak nak kereta kotor, so better kotorkan tempat lain ek? hampeh punya mentality. tak suka sungguh aku.

dah2.. malas nak merungut lagi.

kawasan cantik, tapi yelah, macam aku cakap tadi, tempat baru bukak, a lot of things need to be done. backdrop, okay lah. berkenan sungguh aku ngan semi D atas bukit tuh. bercita2 sungguh la kan nak umah macam tuh. 750k siot. kalo aku bini sultan boleh la kot. huhuhu.

yang best angin kat situ very nice. macam semalam, by 7pm dah gelap awan mendung nak hujan. angin best bertiup. pergh... teringat la plak gi bbq kat bukit kluang hari tuh. but that's another story.

bergigam is a must. biasalah. si lil mermaid suka naik prem mummy jaja dia belikan. huhuhu... konpem lepas ni eeboo dia naik berat badan. apa taknya, hilanglah 'workout machine' dia since tak payah nak dukung dia bila gi mana2. tapi still i'm glad the last 15 mths of my plan tak nak pakai stroller, menjadik. managed to get back my weight and nearly old shape by the 6 month. so, lepas ni nak kena start balik exercise regime kalo tak nak put on weight. huhuhu... balik kelantan hari tu dah naik 2 kilo. waaa!!!!

punyalah suka dia naik prem, siap nyanyi2 lagi lagu2 korea favorite dia. hehehe. kena tolak, kena tolak jugak, deq, time jalan kena jalan gak... adik tu dah berisi asyik dok minum susu malas makan. ok?

nota kuku kaki suam: exercise? what a scary future lie in front of me.

orang tengah

2010-02-02T11:01:00.003+08:00

(tepi kiri kanan kena jaga)

susah jadi orang tengah. orang perantara. middleman bak kata bahasa leonardo dicaprio. lebih2 lagi kalau jadi orang tengah yang ada personal interest with the kiri and the kanan. personal conflict jadiknya.

at the end of the day, si ~~pulau pandan jauh ke~~ tengah jugaklah yang sakit kepala, migrain tahap gaban.

lebih parah migrain tuh, bila si tengah menjadi pe-tengah not by volunteer. tapi by default.

nota kuku kaki suam: secara default jugak, you'll end up with the migrain till end of life. haih. merungut jer kerja aku skang.

that thing that we called 'forum'

2010-02-01T11:51:00.009+08:00

(i seriously need to have a better topic)

yang aku aktif aku rasa dua jer kot. active in sense of selalu jenguk la. but lately, aku dah naik malas nak jenguk. sebab, dah bosan ngan topik2 kat forum. sama, meraban, merepek, and utterly mengarut (in my opinion la, ok!)

cam ner aku buleh ter-join berforum nih?? ntah... aku pun dah tak ingat pasai apa aku join and topik apa my first post. lupa. lupa. lupa. tapi yang aku ingat, community forum aku join dulu best. otak kelakar gila. terkekek kekek sorang2 depan pc bila baca post, replied post and all.

tapi skang, mcm malas. malas sebab menyampah tahap gaban. menyampah bila orang terlalu senstive and sometimes terlalu selfish, perasan, denial, and imsensitive gila. senang citer, tak reti berforum.

forum ni senang jer. kalo sorang dua asyik buat perangai tak der hal. ni siap ada community sendiri. pas tuh, suka gang-up ngan forumnist lain yang jaki ngan certain2 group nih. bila sorang tak puas hati ngan satu topik sebab tak masok ngan jiwa dia, mula la 'hallo' kat gang2 semua masok topik malang tuh, gang-up. dah tu mula lah borak sesama sendiri, kuar topik tahap dewata raya. bila tuan tanah tegur, marah la, apa la.. ni jenis yang tak pandai nak berforum.

adik2 sekalian (pergh! mcm nak bagi al-kuliyyah), kalo nak kuar topik bak tepok2 tampar kat satu2 topik, first of all, hormat tuan rumah. at least mintak izin. then, menjawab dulu based on topik. pas tuh, kalo ada nak kuar topik pun, tak der hal.. buat ala2 footnote or p/s: lepas jawab reply tuh. baru la orang tak hangen. ni kalo sesuki hati buat gangster, terjah rumah orang macam tak der adat, memang la tuan rumah and even forumnist lain marah. bukan lah soh skema all the time. kuar topik secara berhemah and tepat.

dah tu, cuba ada sedikit rasa segan dalam diri. dah tau pecah rumah orang, ramai2 lak tuh, cuba ada sense of belonging or at least awareness. ni tak langsung tak pedulik. orang ke hapa? common sense la tuh. kalau common sense pun tak reti, tak yah ~~jadi orang~~ berforum.

tapi tulah, masalah nya, ramai yang berforum ni, first few months or ~~decade~~ years, jadi addicted to it. every few seconds nak checked apa orang reply. siap jadik topik stalker lagi. HA! yang ni aku ngaku, aku the first few months memang macam nih. teruk gak penangan forum ni ek?

pas tuh, kat forum nih, macam2 ragam orang (acting or reality tak taulah). jenis yang suka melawak (lawak menjadik), lawak syok sendiri (or just among community dia), jenis sikit2 mencarut, sikit2 mencarut, jenis yang panas baran pun ada. asyik nak marah jer, nak hentam jer.. huhuhu. tak pasal ambik port sangat pun tak tau. war of keyboard gituh. bukan nya jenis bertemu mata (kalau ada pun, statisticnya sket la).

ada jugak jenis meroyan pantang tak puas hati, bukak topik. sket2 bukak topik tak puas hati. as for me, yang paling tak bleh blah, bukak topik aim to forumnist, i.e. guna nama forumnist. bukan satu, berpuluh2 lak tuh. pas tu plak, ada yang jenis suka provoke orang yang dah meroyan. ikut meroyan skali. apa ke hal lah... ni yang nak oyak jenis yg nak naikkan posting and ~~stalker~~ ketagih.

the management plak (pergh, forum ada management), kalo terburu2 or ikut deru pilih mods, dapat byklah komen dan aduan. aku still rasa kalau nak pilih orang jagakan rumah ni, bukan jenis yang gila power, sesuki hati hentam orang pas tuh gang-up ngan fello mods yang seangkatan sekepala, sesuka hati exercise power yang ada.

mmm... bila pkr balik, ni la jugak antara faktor ramai yah dah malas layan port forum.

apa2 pun, apa yang penting, bak kata lenny, tuck dan ming2, jangan ambik serious sangat sampai nak ber battle bc pasal benda2 remeh. but, having that said, jangan la jugak sesengaja provoke orang just so that orang sentap pas tuh lancarkan perang ala caeser. habih satu forum kecoh (well, again, kecoh ngan org2 yg melayan lah).

nota kuku kaki suam: jangan plak yang buat slogan, forum is my life. kui kui kui.

i promise this will be the last

2010-01-31T13:54:00.006+08:00

(well, eden will torai)

closure. coming clean.

yes, i was super hype when i talked bout furthering my study. very, very excited. but, one my defense, it was not really a well managed plan. banyak benda tak take into account. and getting there the last one month, has been, well... what will be the right word? challenging? mencabar iman.

and after all that, all the messes and complication (and not to mention, insults and what not), i should be considered as nearly mencapai my goal to "start" (baru start... kecoh lebih kan? kui kui kui) studying again, i gave in.

bebal? bodoh?

ego?

ntahlah. dah sembahyang istikarah semua, and discussion, we decided (well, the decision was solely mine) that i should never contemplate my hard earned money to people who failed to be professional and called me a 'liar' (or in the most subtle way they tried to put it, "giving you the benefits of the doubt")

bad move. a very bad move.

that is so not the way to sell your service, at all. and we are not talking bout hundreds, we are talking bout thousands. why contemplate?

no, i'm not saying just because i 'should' be enrolling as a master student, the service and treatment should be fit for a royalty. hey, i'm a normal red-blooded human. not blue nor yellow. BUT, treat one as a human, and you can also consider your service as a business. so, why don't you yourself go back studying in the customer service area?

mula2 memang aku nak buat pekak telinga and buta mata. tapi my mood and hati dah tawar gila nak sambong blaja. blom enroll dah treat macam tuh, calling me a liar, kalau dah start nanti, i'm sure i'll be branded for a year kat situ. so, i'm weighing whether i want to pay that much for that kind of treatment.

the case? dia cakap my application over the deadline. fine. then reject me. tapi bila my pos laju ckp dah sampai my application but i was told the application never eceived, so i tried to digg deeper lah, just to know what happened. kalau betol tak layak, then let it be. but lepas passing around the call to particularly everywhere, and turned out my application ada but was put aside without reason, well, actually aku dah puas hati. closure as for my application did sampai. tak der la bengang sangat bayar processing fee (bukan ke processing fee tuh so that the application 'was indeed process' first then verdict comes later?). but when it was approved then and there i was so happy. bonus weh!

but hell started there. the next few days until last wednesday i felt like i was a marked woman. received a call from someone who is the kepala of some department, very defensive, barely gave me the opportunity to talked, just fired away and call me a liar (in that subtle sentence). dah la tak baca email betol2, create your own hell scenario, pas tuh marah2. actually, that was the main straw lah. hello... i didn't forced you to accept me, i merely asked what happened to my application. bila hantar email, agak kurang cerdik bila letak that satement in black and white. bila aku ckp being defensive, reply cakap tak defensive, just wanna staright things out, in a blacked 14-16 size font! ha ah... tak defensive, kan?

alah... malas nak cakap banyak2.. banyak lagi citer yang org lain buat, tapi aku dah closure ngan n3 nih. aku consider aku tak der rezeki, and hopefully, ada rezeki in the near future.

i gained 2 kilos coz of this! (alasan!!)

really, i'm okay with it now, and the bitterness has gone.

nota kuku kaki suam: i can handled bad service, but when you start main characteristic and vices, that's the end.

and that's my friends, how much....

2010-01-31T13:18:00.006+08:00

(time i ~~waste~~ have in my hand)

i just notice this. an error?

according to this, i blogged since 2007.

and yet,

according to this, i blogged since 2005.

oye! memang lah. aku trf my old blog to blogger in 2007. apa nak pening2??

nota kuku kaki suam: yelah... maksud tersirat tuh, aku memang dah lama dok menghabiskan masa ber-blogging n3 syok2 sendiri. kih kih kih.

surveying

2010-01-31T13:16:00.005+08:00

(mencari dan mencarik lagi)

aku skang tgh usha local uni yang offer study in human resource, particularly master of human resource management/development. any takes? help, please?

nota kuku kaki suam: tulun tulun tulun....

meroyan

2010-01-30T01:04:00.005+08:00

(aku x der kerja malam nih)

dah lama gak aku tak menjengok forum. first 6 months join dulu, macam forumnist seangkatan aku buat n3, memang a bit addicted. tapi, life tends to catch up, and well, with a bit of cockiness, aku tak deny skang as 'orang lama' yg digempar gempur, aku jusr spectators. tgk bebudak baru bukak topik2 and replies yang aku tak leh masok ~~langsong~~ sangat.

tapi, for one thing, i never let 'it' rule my real life. kengkadang aku rasa kelakar gila tgk some of forumnist yang turns alam maya into their reality.

tahap tak tahan, meroyan nak 'keadilan' lah, bertekak lah.. apa2 je lah. true enuf, it's only internet forum, and you dun know people as zahirnya, but please, jauh mana sangat beza orang yang kasar, celupar, mencarut kat forum berbeza dr individu tu kat luar/real life?

yes, aku rasa mmg ppl buleh menyamar baik, budi bahasa, sopan santun, but - if you dah biasa mencarut, tak sopan in anything at all kat forum, marah la kunun or just being spontan, i do believe the first impression as you showed ppl on the forum doesn't goes far from reality.

nota kuku kaki suam: have a life, REAL LIFE.

contemplating

2010-01-29T11:00:00.002+08:00

(i put my faith in the decision made)

sedih, tapi nak buat macam mana
dah lama dream nak buat
so many dugaan
ingatkan buleh la buat tahun ni, ada rezeki
a good start for a new year

but, tak jadi plak
tak der rezeki

nota kuku kaki suam: sabar jer...

delayed?

2010-01-28T16:47:00.002+08:00

(to be or not to be)

egokah aku?
bodohkah aku?
bebalkah aku?

apakah?

nanti aku buat n3 lagi...

nota kuku kaki suam: banyak tol dugaan.

need to set back my clock in order

2010-01-26T02:12:00.002+08:00

(stakat ni blom berjaya)

pasal tido yang tak ber-time. dah kol 2 pagi, mata masih segar bugar and pagi after subuh mesti nak baring balik kejap, amalan yang akan menjadi habit yang tidak baik dan menutup pintu rezeki. nak start class satu hal... pasal sejak 2 minggu ni asyik tido lewat? petang tak der take a nap pun.. uhuhuhu...

so, i'm gonna try to sleep and wake up very early in the morning and stay awake till at most 10pm the next day. hopefully my body will feel so tired enough to go to sleep by then. bila dah start mcm tuh senang la sket nak set back biological clock in motion.

nota kuku kaki suam: selingan - baru habis merendek forum yang telah agak lama ditinggalkan... such a stupid and low IQ punya orang... uff!

bila bapak pun ber-fesbuk-king

2010-01-25T14:47:00.003+08:00

(kes kantoi..among others...)

when status gives you away... sian.

oh, daddy... cam nor buleh luper?

ahahahahahaha!!! this is the best one yet!!

nota kuku kaki suam: morale of the story? be careful of who you are adding as a friend.. kui kui kui.

kena serang

2010-01-25T09:15:00.002+08:00

(aku yang masih mamai)

semalam kan aku tido lambat. so lepas subuh aku melyan diri balik tido. then kol 8 pagi dapat call. kena serang pagi2 buta. how unprofessional for somebody in that position boleh tak professional macam tuh. oh, kelly ng. ko mmg typikal. nantilah, i'll give it until end of today. let's see how things turn out. then, if ok... then this would be the only n3. if not, akan ada continuation to this n3.

nota kuku kaki suam: silap lah... i'm in customer service and operation jugak once, weh!

back to school

2010-01-25T02:00:00.003+08:00

(and all rusty and what-not)

today finally got the answer for my study application. alhamdulillah, dapat. excitement does not need to be describe here, it was over-whelming.

but now, here i am at 2am seems to be already losing my sleep. haih...

ha ah. risau. dun get me wrong, i'm more than thankful but, ada macam2 benda tgh berlegar kat benak otak aku skang.

class akhir bulan nih dah kena register for course.. huhuhu such a short period. walaupun lebih sebulan buat decision nak sambong blajar, only now the reality really hit me. why now? well, we tot, okay, get the offer first, then work things out.. uhuhuhu. KEPALA AKU MACAM KARAT TAK LEH BELA NIH... wawawawawawa!

my sweetest lil precious mermaid, nak soh sapa jaga? aku dah spend masa full dengan dia past 2 months, and if i am to have her stay with my parents for a year (at least)...well, mati kering aku weh! but sacrifices need to be made. tak sanggup nak tinggal dia kat nursery ngan strangers.

psal aku cuak sangat ni ek? bukan nya buat rocket science pun. orang lain kalo tgk tahap cuak aku mesti mencebik kan? stakat ambik mhrm cuaknya macam nak kena invent new things (i heard it so i said it, ok?). adehlah... buleh ke aku buat nih?

nota kuku kaki suam: dok pikir2 macam nih, makin pening kepala ada la. baik aku sembahyang, mintak tunjuk jalan. huhuhu.

obsession of the new era

2010-01-25T01:34:00.004+08:00

(kes ketinggalan keretapi, ppl exhibit 1)

pasal kecoh blogger yang buat n3 sentap semalaysia (majority or minor group yang sentap, wallahualam...as for me, no comment). i will not post what he wrote or whatever, not news worthy for me (though dah siap ada group dalam fesbuk - dasyat fesbuk.. macam2 ada...)

speaking of which, tgh hari tadi mak bonda tanya pasal hate group si fasha sandha. wah! mana mak bonda tau psal fesbuk group nih? huhuhu... oho... rupa2nya masok harian metro and she saw news bout it on ntv7 tadi. hehehe... ntah... aku prasan gak group tuh, been over there briefly, tapi tak der join pun. tu masing2 punya pasal nak join ke tak. in fact. aku pun tak suka ngan dia sangat. but, yes, mostly sebab all those scandals.

just a question though... apa yang creator group tuh dapat? so, logik kepla otak aku, mungkin kalau dapat prove ramai tak suka dia, orang tak ambik dia kerja. huhuhu... lantak ko lah luncai.. terjun jer la dari kl tower ke, klcc ke, asal ko bahagia.

does one become a stalker just by mencarik salah semua benda or putting everything under a microscope?

nota kuku kaki suam: amazed by the participation of ppl joining this kind of "cause". truly amazed. 40k less than a month. so, what does that say bout us so-called malaysian?

cik puan dodo

2010-01-19T01:50:00.002+08:00

(ntah mana bahasa 'dodo' nih adik aku dapat)

gue kebosanan. but my head won't stop humming this song, dem! nak tido dah ni woi.

a quick note though. aku tak pernah paham motif MV minah ni. serabuk ngan fashion ntah apa2. atau aku kot yang buta fashion almaklumlah... tak reti rate baju2 tak cukup kain nih. kui kui kui.

nota kuku kaki suam: my lil mermaid larik sembunyik muka kat baju aku bila scene last MV nih... aku pun terkejut. ala2 scary mary ko ngan make up dia macam tuh. but still, love the song, as always.

i dun like

2010-01-19T00:49:00.003+08:00

(listing time)

hate is such a strong word. can i use loath, though?

miahahaha...

moving on...

faizal tahir (sejak azali lagi... dun ask why, just because)

sambal (belacan ke, durian ke... prefer makan cili/lada just like that, unprocessed)

lady gaga's MV (but L.O.V.E all her songs!)

melodi tv3 (they have the most poyos squad in the WORLD!)

tv3's gossips programme (they sure dun have anything better to do)

malay movies (hey, it's my list, sesuki hati badak aku lah... kenapa? tak puas hati? sila bawak kes anda ke mahkamah tinggi go-head-gostan)

adam lambert (who the hell is this wearing-earing-guy? lagu pun so-so jer... not even suam2 kuku)

tom cruise (psycho and stereotype acting)

and so many more....

nota kuku kaki suam: tak baik tak suka orang? ahahahaha... tu la psal list sket aje... nanti jahat keramat plak nampak sesuki hati tak suka orang... miahahahah....

depression

2010-01-17T16:11:00.003+08:00

(on a serious note)

once in a while, it's good to have a self assessment... just checking, you know? egegegege...

Understanding Depression

SIGNS, SYMPTOMS, CAUSES AND HELP

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary "blues," the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Hobbies and friends don’t interest you like they used to; you’re exhausted all the time; and just getting through the day can be overwhelming. When you’re depressed, things may feel hopeless, but with help and support you can get better. But first, you need to understand depression. Learning about depression—including its signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment—is the first step to overcoming the problem.

What is depression?

We all go through ups and downs in our mood. Sadness is a normal reaction to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness.

Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—instead, they feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic.

Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

Are you depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
you feel hopeless and helpless
you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

Signs and symptoms of depression

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that's when it's time to seek help.

Common signs and symptoms of depression

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, restless, or on edge. Your tolerance level is low; everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain

food - simplest pleasure

2010-01-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

(when hunger rule...ngeee!!!)

question.

what do you do when your tummy started to play the tune of hunger and yet, you dun have the mood to be in the kitchen and work your nigella's skill or even oliver's (which in my case, stakat tgk AFC jelah... nak cook up something, semua jadik recipe charred.. ngeh! ngeh! ngeh!)?

so, here yee.. here yee... let me share some of the simplest pleasure of having en joyful and delicious food (according to my anak tekak lah). either a la carte or a meal. and definitely, served best with nasik panas and a bit soft, not too soft and not too keras.

1. telur mata kerbau cair (i.e. runny egg yolk) - wajib ada. ehehehehe.

my favorite, the white must be crispy and the yolk must be perfectly runny... tak suka termasak ke, tiga suku masak ke... hilang segala nikmat rasa yolk) nyum... nyum... yummy!

2. kicap - wajibullghunnah.

WITH

3. ikan rebus goreng (well, i'm not sure whether this is family recipe or not, sbb tak pernah lagi tgk orang ain buat. ikan direbus dengan asam kepings and sedikit garam. lepas tuh, goreng to perfection. our family fav ikan? ikan tongkol or aya. the best! memang berebut.)

4. ikan bilis (paling best kalau ikan bilis besar yang dah dibelah dan dibuang perut) digoreng ngan bawang besar (potong bulat etc) dan cili merah (dihiris panjang ke, bulat ke, 4 segi ke, apa2lah)

5. keropok keping (my fav kalau keping yang tebal, which you need more than 2 seconds to fry, and bila angkat tuh, if you terus makan, ada sedikit texture liat... pergh!!! best siot!!). but, my mum and i suka makan nasik panas baru masak just with the keropok. best... just like that.

nyum nyum..... lapar la plak... padahla baru jer lepas makan. banyak lagi our simplest lauk yang mampu nak bagi kenikmatan tak terhingga (pergh... ayat!) tapi... i'm sure everybody has their own simplest pleasure.

nota kuku kaki suam: one might think nigella and oliver's simple gila, well, kalau betul simple gila, aku yang gila tak pandai masak nih should be able to do, rite? .......................... NOT!!!

chopped and the 3 strands

2010-01-15T20:56:00.001+08:00

(once in a blue moon part 2)

as per previous entry, sesuki hati aku chopped rambut. i'm sure other ladies were shrieking bila baca entry aku tuh. rambut mahkota wanita wo! gila cantas sabit macam tu aje. sendirian berhad lak tuh. heheh... macam ni lah aku nih. jenis malas nak pkr panjang.

tapi bebenornya, aku ni dah boleh kira tiap2 tahun sekali mesti incik moncit aku tolong cantas rambut aku nih. especially kalo time dok kl. malas nak carik saloon yang entertain ladies jer (and by that, hairdresser pun hanya pompuan dan tak der orang laki boleh masuk.. tak kira la mereka2 yang claim they are women stuck in a man body).

ala.. aku ni pakai tudung... sapa la nak tengok rambut aku nih. cukup incik moncit dah la kan. and setakat ni alhamdulillah dia tak kesah (maunya kesah... dia yang potong... kira dia punya hasil lah... ehehehe)

so, tadi ada sedkit tweeking ke atas rambut gue. wah... he was having a ball potong rambut sebab dapat green light dari aku. aku soh cantas jer, asal tak botak. dah serabut rambut panjang. a good relationship therapy tau... ehehehe. first bagi dia cantas rambut aku masa dapat news pregnantkan adrieana dulu. pas tuh, lepas 100 habis pantang. and this year, sedikit awal mintak dia cantas. gila ringan kepala aku... i loikkee!

cubalah therapy ni, tapi defintely untuk mereka berjantung seteguh batu.... kalau lemah semangat... jangan! miahahahaha....

nota kuku kaki suam: incik moncit jumpa 3 helai uban atas kepala aku. one of it, putih kat tengah jer... waaaa!!! makcik dah tuo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haih... why is my blog affected by the bug?

2010-01-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

(cheese... tak ku sangka2)

sejak bila pun aku tak tau lah. i guess quite sometime kot. yelah, aku hiatus from blogging quite sometimes hari tuh so never tot aku pun affected. dem... tak ku sangka2 FAQ yang si deng tanya aku thru FB harituh jadik kat aku jugak. dem lagi! aku godek2 blogger issues since december lagi depa report, awatlah tak settle2 lagi? uff!

apa yang aku merapek nih?

ni ha... blog aku tak feed kat blogrll kengkawan aku. asyik dok tunjuk entry since four days ago though dah banyak latest entry aku merapek kat blog aku nih.

patutler sunyi sepi jer. ufff...

bela la feed nih, blogger oi!!! kang ke aku migrate kang ha...

nota kuku kaki suam: as if ada followers. miahahahahahahah....

once in a blue moon

2010-01-14T18:57:00.001+08:00

(impromptu)

i felt asleep before asar till 5pm today. woke up with a very disturbing feeling, feeling serabut tahap dewa, tension and depress over nothing, like i'm so effed up out of nothing, wanna banged my head to anything.

so i went to the bathroom. looked myself in the mirror, and just like that, took a small scissor on the pantry, and started cutting my hair.

during the whole time, i'm feeling so empty. felt nothing.

take a shower. just let the water ran down. after 10 minutes, dried my har with the towel, and i felt refreshed.

yeah. my hair is above my shoulder length now.

nota kuku kaki suam: kepala berat and serabut rambut panjang ropernya. miahahahaha.

i'm sorry you have to see that during my blue day

2010-01-13T16:52:00.005+08:00

(in my defense, shouldn't have temp me)

on monday, went to nearby carrefour to accompany my sister who's looking for shawl. masok la satu kedai baju and tudung nih. tak sampai 5 minit, dia jumpa la shawl idaman kalbu. suppose purchased, 20 bucks.

the salesgirl, yang dari awal muka toya jer, masukkanlah shawls tu dalam beg plastic, and started asking my sister with her toya face whether she has small change.

adik aku: tak der la kak.

miss toya : akak pun x der.

adik aku walked to me and asked me if i have one. i said no. pegilah balik adik aku tuh kat counter balik.

adik aku : tak der la kak.

miss toya : adik pegilah cari duit kecik. (amboi minah ni, nak niaga ke tak nak?)

adik aku : akak la pegi cari. saya ni nak beli nih.

miss toya : adik la gi carik. kat kedai tu ke... (tak berganjak dari kerusi 'empuk' dia, and tunding jai kat kaunter carrefour, muka masih berlagak lagi).

adik aku : (dah hot).. mmm.. tak pe lah, kak. saya tak jadi beli.

tetiba aku yang tgh bulan mengambang dah hilang sabar selamba jer sound, " tak nak carik jugak ke duit kecik? hah, dahlah, jom balik. kita nak membeli jer, dia nak business. dia tak nak business, sudah."

pergh... silap la. frst day bulan mengambang. kan dah kena. so, kitaorang blah jer, tension ~~tak bertempat~~ ngan attitude salesgirl nih. walaupun aku slalu usha kedai tuh, tulah first time and last time aku masok situh. uff.

nota kuku kaki suam : carik rezeki, nak menolong melayu, memang ada tapi kalau kita sendirik tak nak tolong diri sendirik, susah cik non oi!!

mad about neighbour pt 1

2010-01-13T16:14:00.004+08:00

(not in a good way)

not mine. my sister's.

(ha ah... sesuki hati badak nak nyibuk)

before my infamous step down to a one wisteria lane occupants (in my own deluded definition), i sent my precious one every morning to my sister's house. her nanny took care of her till i fetched her back in the evening.

kawasan rumah teres, majority new family resides there. tp bila ada one of the owner yang jenis nak main property sesuki hati, dibeli rumah kat situ pas tuh sesuki hati gak rent it out to insensitive ppl. bukan nak sibok2 list down orang macam mana yang boleh rent rumah dia, coz, yes, IT'S HIS house but for god sake, tgk gak la prospects tenants awak tuh.

first di sewakan kat one arabian (kot) couple, bela kucing berlambak, cantik2 weh kucing parsi dia, tapi sayang, tuan kucing tak pandai aja kucing poop senonoh. bangun tiap pagi tak kurang dari 3 tompok poop kat laman kakak aku. psal aku plak yang sibok? sebab aku dulu duduk situ kengkadang, house-sitting (eh, aku tak pernah bagitau ke part time aku house-sitter?). busuk weh! nak kena buang, cuci. merata, bersepah plak tuh... eeww!!

pas tuh couple to pindah, ingatkan kurang satu sakit kepala. skal, disewakan plak kat budak2 bujang, kerja satu tempat kot sebab keta semua sticker sama. apa yang sakit hati plak? imagine... rumah 4 bilik, 8 bijik keta, satu keta 4 orang. cuba kira berapa orang dalam satu rumah tuh? ha... yang tu lantak depalah nak ber-sardin marina dalam umah tuh, di double parking semua keta depan pagar dorang, ngan depan pagar neighbours semua skali. gila inconsiderate. orang pagi2 nak kuar kerja pagi2 kena turun kejut depa dulu. sound skali tak dengar. warning dua kali tak dengar. buat derk and bodoh jer.

nama jer lelaki, tapi keta tak leh nak parking jauh sket. either malas nak jalan jauh ke, takut keta kena rembat ke, tak taulah. just imagine, jalan 2 lorong, dah depa double parking berderet plak tuh, tertutuplah satu lorong. pas tuh, block keta neighbour lain. neighbour kuar reverse pun tak lepas, ntah brapa kali nak kena adjust sebab tak cukup ruang. haih... how very the tak cerdik pandai.

depa2 ni kuar kerja lepas semua orang kuar kerja. pas tuh, bila menunggu bala angkatan tentera yang lain siap, mula la honk kereta satu2, soh cepat sket. ni dalam keta nih tgh dum dam dum nak pecah speaker pasang radio. tu plak, bila honk tak gak angkatan2 kuar, dijeritnya plak, panggil nama macamlah jarak rumah dorang ngan keta tuh 5 blok. depan depan jer tau! bengong. time orang tgh azan maghrib tak pedulik. tgh malam buta pun tak kira. dah la melayu.

ni yang payah kalau landlord jenis nak duit tak pedulik fellow neighbors. uufff.

nota kuku kaki suam : no wonder kereta kemek sana sini, bekas kena tendang and kena gate auto. tu pun depa tak kisah. gilo.

shopping - adrieana's chronologies

2010-01-10T02:21:00.002+08:00

(so far anyway)

everytime pergi shopping mana2 ngan lil mermaid, wajib masok baby diaper room. tanpa fail.

usually, she made her poopy.

and every visit, especially that place called TESCO, memang ada cerita tersendirik. make it the kelantan's branch or the Selangor/KL branch. sampai ada satu incident, walaupun bawak 'bekal' pampers dia, terpaksa beli seluar baru... haih... eeboo being a clutz!

adrieana. adrieana. kat semua tempat nak tinggal 'tanda' ek?

nota kuku kaki suam: mak aih... dah kol 2.30 am. psal aku plak buat 'keras' mata tak nak tido ni? tido, tido. besok nak bangkit awal.

shopping - queeing

2010-01-10T01:57:00.005+08:00

(satu hari di hari yang aku dah tak ingat)

so, there was one day, i think a month ago where i went shopping for barang dapor (ha ah... aku ni bukan kaki shopping, kalo shopping pun barang dapor jer la... kui kui kui), and again in JJ, we were already waiting for the cashier to scan our purchased items. yes, barang agak banyak, tapi tak der la banyak sangat pun.

there was one family behind us. aku macam biasa tunggu kat the other side ngan trolley while adrieana playing with my handbag. semua barang dah scanned, kitaorang terkejut, total was far less than yang kita orang ambik barang. apa logikkah scanner rosak? pas tuh incik moncit check barang, cukup ke tak?

"mana body wash adeque? tadi ambik kan?" dia tanya sambil menggeledah dalam plastic bags. cashier tu pun tgk aje la. semua barang dah di-scanned dan dibayar. family kat blakang tuh tgk jer kita orang.

i was damn sure aku dah letak dlm trolley and remember precisely letak atas belt counter tuh. mana hilang?

"ada. tadi dah letak." aku jawab sambil tgk kat belt counter tuh. tak der. mana pergi?

kebetulan, counter sebelah tutup. and ntah macam mana, tergerak hati aku nak tengok kat sebelah. nampaklah body wash besar gabak yang aku ambik tadi. aku dah boleh agak apa yang jadik and became a bit irritated.

"tuh! kat sebelah. sapa yang letak sana?!" suara aku agak tinggi untuk si mak family yang tunggu kat blakang tuh dengar. aku jeling jer. dia buat muka innocent. cashier and incik moncit tgk jer gelagat tak guilty dia. anak2 dia pun buat bodo jer. incik moncit tak ckp apa, ambik body wash tuh, had it scanned and paid for it.

but that's the only scene yang aku buat lah. i hate to make a scene. tapi aku cukup pantang kalo orang cuba nak memperbodohkan aku. not even an apology. mmg nasib lah.

kot ya pun tak sabar, tunggulah sampai abis scanned semua barang. jangan sesuka hati sebab nak cepat, alih barang orang letak kat counter lain. kan ke tak-cerdik nama nya tuh????

how un-civilized. dia ingat dia sorang jer yang kena beratur ke???

nota kuku kaki suam: as we walked away, aku teringat, kalau toiletries body wash was put away, agaknya cotton bud yang kitaorang beli pun tak der kot? we searched the plastic bags, and it turned out, it was missing. haih... tak pasal2 kena asok watson beli yang baru. nasib baik tak masok dalam resit tadi. eee... marahnya bila stumble ngan orang tak der akai.

shopping - saving the environment

2010-01-10T01:39:00.005+08:00

(satu hari di hari sabtu)

so, today pergi JJ kat area rumah beli barang dapor yang dah di delay delay since the last couple of days. hehehe... asyik makan nasik bungkus... truk kan? bila housewife dah malas truk bebenor malasnya.

anyhoo... pegi dalam tengahari. dah penuh orang. mostly chinese. terfikir gak.. kalo tak silap, CNY lambat lagi. depa dah start shopping meh?

as we (me and my sister, si ikan patin) made our way to the vege area, tetiba nampak sign,

"Staring 9th January 2010, every Saturday will be a NO plastic bag day"

oho... no wonder ada "sale" their reusable shopping bag. paling murah pun less than 2 bucks. and kalo insist nak plastic bag, each bag will cost 2o cents.

so, you might wonder. did i buy the reusable shopping bag?
the answer is NO.

so you might ask again, did i resort to paying the plastic bag/s?
the answer? YES and NO.
yes. i paid for ONE plastic bag which cost me 0.2o.
and NO. i didn't pay for plastic bagS.

am i being insensitive? probably. and, not really.

i do care bout the environment. that's why i only resorted to pay for one plastic bag to isi all the barang basah a.k.a. ayam, daging, and ikan. as ofr yang kering, we just put it on our trolley, and as we reached the car, put everything in that ONE BIG plastic bag of the barang basah. lagipun, semua barang kering tuh wrapped dengan plastic gak. so, no biggie.

kemut?

well, i am all go with saving the environment but i will defintely NOT involve ngan bagi profit to those people yang so-called-environment-fighters. no thank you. that is my stand.

why must it be expensive to save the environment?

nota kuku kaki suam: no wonder ppl fussy bout saving the environment. it cost you! so, if you are kemut like me, you can opt not shopping on saturday if you dun feel like putting the things in the bonnet loosely, OR, beli jer satu bakul siap2 letak dalam bonnet. amacam?

dear BAT

2010-01-04T20:59:00.002+08:00

(ngomel sket)

i have so, so many things to vent, steam and write about
and yet.....

so serabut to find time.

nota kuku kaki suam: i need my fix. like rite now.

bila hari 'hujan'

2010-01-01T00:38:00.004+08:00

(latest jam)

well, latest as in dah berbulan bulan stuck in my head refusing to get out. i guess, selagi i'm feeling like this (serabut and down) selagi tu la broken record kot... uhuhuhu.

nak layan... layan jer. tak nak tak paksa eh....

Is it really necessary

Every single day

Making me more ordinary

In every possible way

This ordinary mind is broken

You did it and you don’t even know

Leaving me with words unspoken

You better get back cuz I’m ready for

More than this

Whatever it is

Baby, I hate days like this

Caught in a trap

I can’t look back

Baby I hate days like this

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

More than this

Baby I hate days like

Trying to be ordinary

Was it me who was the fool?

Thought you found the man you wanted

Until you turn him into something new

Well even if our minds are broken

There’s something that I need you to know

It’s nothing like the life we wanted

You better move on

Cuz I’m ready for

More than this

Whatever it is

Baby, I hate days like this

Caught in a trap

I can’t look back

Baby I hate days like this

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

More than this

Baby I hate days like

(Spoken)

I’m not angry

Don’t know what to do

After all the years that I spent with you

I can’t blame you for the things you say

I was using you just to hide away

More than this

Whatever it is

Baby, I hate days like this

Caught in a trap

I can’t look back

Baby I hate days like this

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

When it rain rain rain rains

It rain rain rain rains

More than this

Baby I hate days like

nota kuku kaki suam: tak boleh kena hujan. migrain menyerang tanpa hesitasi though deep down inside, rasa nak menari-nari dalam hujan lebat bak heroin citer2 tamil.

12.31 am

2010-01-01T00:24:00.002+08:00

(eceh! dah lain tahun ek?)

resolution?

none.

nota kuku kaki suam: tak suka celebration2 yg kena tunggu tgh malam... kaco orang tido jer. uff.

no more binky!

2009-12-23T09:27:00.003+08:00

(hopefully)

as per cold turkey entry, it's been 6 whole days since i took the paci away from adrieana. so how was it so far?

okay... she's okay. everything is running smoothly. not much different in our day to day lives, except that all three of us (yes, incik moncit included!) been losing our precious sleeping time! huhuhu.

as i been saying all this time, adrieana's paci has been her comfort item to help her to sleep. and the quite harsh method that i took was something that just did, i.e. i didn't do my research as i normally do. and last night, was one of the worse withdrawal symptom. she really has trouble getting herself to sleep. we did everything to keep her mind off or at least tried to have her mengantuk by watching videos. but nothing work last night. and she screamed and screamed for the next one hour.

what broke my heart was her eyes were so heavy, she was so sleepy but she just couldn't get herself to sleep. after crying herself out for more than an hour, she felt asleep in my arms and tight hugs due to crying exhaustion.

then as i felt her chest started breathing more calming and relax-y, i started talking to incik moncit and start second guessing my judgment and most importantly my method. it went cold turkey on my lil mermaid.

then incik moncik started asking me whether i have done research. and i admitted to him that i didn't. so, waking up this morning, and so glad to find out that i did the right thing, well, one of the recommended method. phew.

Dr. Christopher Luccy, a pediatric dentist in Greensburg, Westmoreland County, recommends that parents eliminate a baby's pacifiers ideally between the ages of 11 and 13 months -- although it's very common for children to use a pacifier much longer than that.

"Once you get past 11 to 13 months, a pacifier ... is not a ... necessity, but rather a pathological habit," Luccy says.

11 to 13 months... adrieana is somewhere 13 months (well end of 13 months... hehehe... sedapkan hati)

Shapiro -- whose simple picture book about pacifiers is meant to be read by parents and children together -- says that children should stop using pacifiers around 1 year old, and by 18 months at the latest. Once children are a year old, they lose the sucking instinct catered to by a pacifier.

"After that, (the pacifier) doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever, but it's just a habit," Shapiro says.

okay. okay. so far on the right track. but, is it okay to go a cold turkey on my baby??? should i have done it gradually?

If it's time to retire the old binky, consider this advice from professionals:

• It's good to begin taking pacifiers away, whether by weaning or cold-turkey methods, when your child is about a year old, and as young as 11 months.

• By the time kids reach 18 months, they definitely are ready to give up the pacifiers entirely.

• Whether to go cold turkey or gradually depends on the individual child and age. Older children, who may have become more dependent on their pacifiers, might do better with a weaning process.

• If you suddenly take the pacifier away, be prepared for a few days of protesting and crying from your child, but don't give in. Many kids get over it right away.

melompat dan melepak

2009-12-21T01:08:00.006+08:00

(aktiviti seekor katak?)

dem! it's 1.09 am and i'm still wide awake. perut pun dari tadi tak best. pahal ek? takkan pasal makan eskrem kot? sebab sebelom makan eskrem lagi dah sakit. apa yang aku makan ek?

(ya, tanpa hesitasi aku telah meng-expose-kan diri dengan jayanya tentang betapa pelahapnya aku walaupun perut meronta-ronta sakit. pemakan eskrem tegarkah?)

dun mind my blabbiness (what the hell does that means? look it up it mengayam-webster dictionary.) coz it tends to happen when it past midnight, mata berat nak mampus tapi otak tak nak tido.

so, i was hoping here and there reading blogs both in my bloglist and blogger list. memacam entry ada. yang serious tengah2 malamni aku takambik port sangat.kena carik yang santai dan merapu merapek meraban macam aku. huhuhu. serious2 psal reality, siang hari buleh la.

so, a question.

psal bila adult ke, teenager ke, sapa2 jer lah bila tahap emosi berwarna merah, penulisan amarah tu mesti ada mencarut-sopan-malu-tapi-tak-segan? i mean, kenapa tak leh direct jer mencarut terang menderang. psal ejaan carutan tuh nak di camouflage kan ngan simbol2 @ or # or % or ! dan macam2 lagilah. lagi satu... even though symbols were used, bukannya orang yang baca tu tak paham. so, aku cuba berteka teki teku, maybe, just maybe kita takut anak2 kita, pr adik2 kita or readers bawah umur baca entry panas kita tu ek? so, dorang tak tau makna sebenar?

oh, kemon lah. ni zaman apa ni? are we really that naive?

well, bukan nya aku nak ajar macam mana nak buat entry. gilo apo. whatever la. freedom of speech. vent it out. steamit out. so dah ala FOS, tulis je lar terang2, bagitau satu dunia kita tgh marah and somemencarut akan diselit sana sini. not that ppl gonna judge you for that.... rite? so, apa ke pekdahnya guna symbols tu semua?

sebab kita nak mencarut-sopan-malu-tapi-tak-segan?

nota kuku kaki suam: !$%*& #*$&% @^!!& #^*#! <------- hah! ni konpem orang tak paham sebab... aku pun tak paham. ku main tekan sesuka hati. muakakakka.

sangap

2009-12-21T00:57:00.003+08:00

(terbalik la plak)

hari ni hari mengada ngada tahap gaban ngan incik moncit. dia dah la batok tapi aku tanpa hesitasi mintak nak melantak makan eskrem malam2. mentang2 mcD tak jauh... selamba badak nak melantak. kunun ala2 nak manja mcm time zaman pregger dolu dolu. kui kui kui.

tak hagak2 plak tuh. bukan satu. nak dua jenis skali. strawberry sundae and mcflurry mudpie. pergh. ni tahap tanpa hesitasi gaban balik kuang. kih kih kih.

mood dia tengah baik. ambik kesempatan. belajar dari yang terbaek!!!

anak aku yang sangap nak pacifier, mak dia yang lebey lebey. muakakakakkaka.

nota kuku kaki suam: finished them in less than 10mins. amacam? mentekedarah ke, mencekik?

awal muharram - cold turkey

2009-12-20T12:48:00.004+08:00

(eeboo yang zalim? uhuhuhuhuhu....)

resolution. people keeps on talking bout resolution. but most people who knows me knew that i don't made resolution. for me you don't put a one year time frame to keep a promise that you gonna change or do because most of the time, you just never fulfill it. simply change if we wanna change kan?

dem! suddenly sound serious. ahak.

anyhoo....

everybody in my facebook or who has been reading this blog knows that my lil mermaid hisap pacifier. bak kata one of my friend, di mana ada adrieana, di situ ada puting. stings? a bit but i've been hearing that for a very long time. hahahahahah. the truth is, kalau baca my preggie entries, how i vowed not to ever gave adrieana a pacifier. and i held to the vow until she was nearly one month old.

hahahaha. bukanlah. bukan nak carik alasan coz, whatever it was, i was the one making a choice to give her the pacifier. uhuhu.

you see... masa she's still in her 30 days, she kept on sucking on the formula and air zam zam. yes, the first 6 months of her life, i never gave her air masak, just air zam zam. dua gelen la abis. and as u know, adrieana refused my nipple. so, she kept on hogging to dr. brown's 24/7 unless she was sleeping. kalau tak hogging to them, dia nangis tak berenti-renti. kalau adrieana bf senang la, boleh hog naturally. sof coz sampai satu tahap where she just vomit the milk macam fountain. seriously. i'm not making it up. bukan jeluak, bukan muntah susu biasa. macam air high pressure kuar dari hose. and it happened more than 3 times. my parents told me since she doesn't want my nipple, bagi jer la dulu pacifier. and aku yang nangis teresak esak everytime dia muntah, decided to give in and bagi her the pacifier. and the vomitting stopped.

and now, she's 13 months and only used her pacifier solely for sleep. melalikan dia. so, as awal muharram eve, aku decide to go cold turkey on her. i made a 'resolution'. as of 1 muharram, adrieana needs to lose the pacifier. mind you, gusi anak dara aku tu dahlah tinggi.. ehehehe... ikut eeboo ngan ayah dia la.. tak leh nak lari.

so, early morning, aku gunting the nipple as my friend suggested. and i gave her the malformed pacifier. dia tak der apa pun. sengih2 gigit of what left of the pacifier and tersengih sengih... because you see, she only needs the pacifier bila nak tido.

adrieana day naps is usually in the early noon, and at 3 to 4 pm. and then her bedtime between 7 to 8.30 pm. that friday, she didin't get any sleeps. not at all. she was restless all day. mengamok. gosok2 mata dia (tanda dia really wants her nappy time). i tried to lullaby her. well, that didn't help at all. she was cranky all day (of course! she's 13 months and not getting her day naps!)

i tried everything. i put on her hi-5 videos. not working.
her upin and ipin's. (only god knows how i managed to memorize all the dialogues). not working.
i tried hugging her in her favorite position. nope. not working either.
i lost count of the things i did.
and finally, at 10pm, she slept due to exhaustion.

sedih gila aku nengok keadaan dia. deep down meronta-ronta nak bagi pacifier kat dia (yes. i got plenty of it. sebab adrieana asyik dropped them anywhere she go in public and ends up losing it). but incik moncit was there to support me and told me to hang on. better now than bila dia dah besar and reti buat choice. definitely lagi susah nak berenti.

and i told you hari tu adrieana dah managed to sleep on her own in her crib but lately she keeps on terjaga tengah malam and the only way to get her back to sleep without terjaga for good. so last two nights, she starts talking her i her dreams and menangis tengah malam. so, naturally, i have to wake up and coax her back to sleep (which is hard sebab dia menangis phase meraung punya).

haih... panjangjer aku ber-penglipulara.

so it's the third day. we're still hanging on and still acting strong. huhuhuhu.

and today, my lil precious mermaid who has not been getting enough sleep, fell asleep while i was feeding her rice porridge. tinggal one spoon lagi and she fell asleep. and usually, she slept for the most one hour during her noon nap, she's been sleeping for 2 and a half hour! mulut tal yah cakap. kering air nasik bubur kat tepi bibir. huhuhuhu.... zalimkah aku?

nota kuku kaki suam: dia dah bangun, and looks like she wants to sleep more!

sepagi

2009-12-14T15:30:00.004+08:00

(sbb ayah bard dia ada bawak his toy, so...)

meh, aku ngedet sket psal lil mermaid adrieana tuh. ha ah... lama aku tak merapek meraban pasal buah hati aku sorang nih. ni pun ambik kesempatan sebab dia terbungkang tido atas sofa depan tiwi ngan aku. ha ah jugak... sejak dok umah, area tiwi bawah ni je lah tempat lepak aku waktu siang. phillips ayah yo dia kat atas tak der sambung astro, ada chenel awam ngan free jer, and tempat ayah su melangok main ps3 24/7. kat bawah gak senang aku nak ke dapor ke, buat apa ke, letak jer dia dalam play pen biru dia. ada la gak pluang buat kerja sikit, huhuhu.

adrieana sofea bukhari.

rambut dah panjang, tapi eeboo dia tak nak kasik potong walau seutas rambut. jangan la sesekali dekatkan gunting ngan kepala lil mermaid dia, mau dia bertukar jadik pontianak, mengamok soh pulangkan rambut anak dia yang secput tuh nanti kang ha! rambut dah la nipis (tak lebat) and after berkali-kali org mistake her as a boy, eeboo dia dah berikrar takkan potong rambut selagi tak panjang mengikut kepuasan hati. sidi, siti, atok nenek dia semua dah bising soh at least potong rambut depan, buat bang gitu. tak de tak de tak de!!! eeboo dia pekakkan telinga yang dah sound trabel tuh.

iklan: lebat la plak hujan kat sini. astro pon dah surrender. nak ku layan tido kah bersama adrieana? cara tuh....

berbalik kepada topik perbincangan, mulut anak dara aku nih dah boleh tahan mengalahkan bertih jagong yang tgh nak jadik popcorn. dah ada intonasi semua berbagai. kengkadang tuh, sambil duduk dalam playpen dia, berleter sorang sorang. apa jugaklah yang dileternya tuh.

nakal tak payah cakap. pandai dah nak bergurau. expression muka superb. dah pandai main mata bila nak express certain emotion. kih kih kih.

jalan? mmm.. how do i categorize her steps. well, dia definitely dah boleh berdiri. dan dah boleh berjalan without sibuk cari something for support BUT only when she's in her playpen or crib. kalau nak soh jalan ta teh sendiri kat lantai, memang dia tanpa hesitasi mengalah dan terus merangkak ngan lajunya. so, consider tak leh jalan la ek?

memanjat? huh... suka bebenor. siap provoke orang lagi to try and stop her from climbing the stairs. mungkin gak anak aku ni dah terpengaruh ngan lagu miley cyrus 'the climb' tu. manjat aje kerjanya. kalau terjaga dari tidur pun, dalam mamai mamai tuh, first thing dia buat, dia manjat bantal ke, aku ke, ayah dia ke, sapa2 yang sempat lah akan dipanjat, pas tuh sambung tido ngan ponggong tertonngek kat mana2 yang sempat landing... huduh ah... kih kih kih.

ish.... hujan ni terlalu inviting. aku rasa aku patut menggunakan kesempatan yang ada untuk membantal-pelukkan badan anak aku ni. masa kerja dulu, kempunan jer la time2 hujan ni.

malam karang kalo mata aku 'hidop' lagi aku celoteh lagi...

nota kuku kaki suam: mintak2 mimpi nak masak apa malam nih. aku dah kering idea.. uff!